Bet you didn’t figure on seeing this when you showed up here today, huh?

Turns out hippos chasin’ boats is a thing if you go to Africa and end up in the right places. A hippopotamus is a mean, mean SOB. B’lieve it or not, they kill more people in Africa than any other big animal. More than lions, more than tigers, more than cheetahs, elephants – all those critters you see and freak out about got nothin’ on a hippo.

And the deal is that hippos stake out territory on a riverbank or a lakeshore. Prime real estate an’ all. An’ if you get close to a female what’s got some babies nearby, it’s on. The males are even meaner, though less a threat to people – what the males will do is eat the male puppies so’s there’s no challenge for who’s gonna be King Hippo down the road.

So with that, here’s what it looks like when you get too close to a buncha hippos in a boat…

And if you want somethin’ even more dramatic, here’s what it looks like when they get pissed off on land. Big suckas can hit 19 mph when they go flat-out…

They look a lot cuter in the cartoons.