VIDEO: It Turns Out The LSU Version Of Col. Reb Is Crying Is More Brutal Than The Original

This was bound to happen when LSU’s football fortunes started to turn south, wasn’t it? I mean, they were makin’ fun of Ed Orgeron’s coonass accent on ESPN even when he was beatin’ the stew out of the Mormons, before errybody got wind of the fact his team sucks. But now?

It’s Col. Reb Is Crying, Purple and Gold style.

As in, Mike The Tiger’s Crying.

And seein’ as though LSU does pretty much everythin’ better than Ole Miss does it when we really put out minds to it, ours is better. They might think they did it first, but then they think that about tamales, too, and they were wrong about that.

Yeah, seriously – up in the Mississippi Delta they think they invented tamales during the Great Depression or somethin’, and every time they tell people who ain’t from there that, the rest of us are all like, “Dude, that’s Mexkin food.” What’s funny about it is they were makin’ tamales in Zwolle, Louisiana in 1721 because the Spanish had a fort there and they were some tamale-eatin’ sos-an’-sos, and that just migrated around North Louisiana into the Delta a couple hundred years later.

And where I’m goin’ with this is that it’s cultural appropriation for those people to claim tamales, and it’s cultural appropriation from us. Just like it was cultural appropriation for them to hire Orgeron an’ make fun of his accent when he started losin’ games, so it’s only justice for us to steal back their song when our dickhead athletic director gives O the LSU job so he can make LSU Football into Ole Miss.

Besides, we did the rest of the SEC a favor and took this guy on. That means we’re owed an enormous amount of deference while we wallow in our extreme suffering until somebody can fork over enough jack to buy this coonass out an’ make him the richest cat in South Lafourche Parish this side of Gary Chouest.

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