We now have some indication of why Janeane Garofalo is such an unmitigated shrew. She lacks love.

You knew that already. But you didn’t know how acute the problem really is…

This guy needs a badge and a gun.

Actually, no he doesn’t. He’s doing great on his own.

…I thought this one was pretty good.

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950′s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let’s just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don’t like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. We’ll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

We’ll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens. We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s and rednecks. We’ll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we’ll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we’ll help provide them security.

We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. But we will no longer be paying the bill.

We’ll keep the SUV’s, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We’ll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We’ll keep “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” and “The National Anthem.” I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute “Imagine”, “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing”, “Kum Ba Ya” or “We Are the World”.

We’ll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

Since it often so offends you, we’ll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

After this episode on Fox News Sunday, in which former Democrat presidential candidate, DNC chairman and nutroots impresario Howard “Yeeaaaarrrgghhh!” Dean gets a faceful of poo from Chris Wallace for trying to smear FNC as a bunch of racists…

…it brought to mind some of the all-time great rejection scenes from motion picture history.

Like for example this one from As Good As It Gets…

Like way behind. Like “I’m not with that guy” behind.

But as DrewM. from Ace Of Spades said, “If this guy were running against Lindsay Graham, I’d send him money.”

This is a little bit of our departure from the Rally For Economic Survival stuff we’re focusing on tonight, but it’s worth posting. After all, we’re well into the Obama Recovery Summer, aren’t we?

…our uncle T-Rex from Dulac passed this one along to us.

It even works on a Prius!

Via Moe Lane, we have this bundle of duncitude…

This would obviously be news to Rep. Joseph Cao (R-LA). He’s probably slapping his forehead and wondering what the heck his folks were thinking in getting the family on that raft.

And as Moe mentioned, no – she’s not talking about Korea and getting mixed up. We lost 58,000 troops in Vietnam, not Korea (we lost 36,000 in Korea). And a warship fished out of the ocean with a torpedo hole in the hull is pretty good evidence that no, the two Koreas aren’t exactly living side by side.

It doesn’t even qualify as a misstatement. Even if it was a misstatement it would still be an exercise in verbal flatulence of the highest order. And this is par for Rep. Jackson-Lee’s course – lest we forget, Jackson-Lee – who represents the city in which NASA’s Mission Control is located – gave us this nugget:

Sheila Jackson Lee was present at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory when the Mars Pathfinder landed in the mid 1990s. She inquired whether the rover would be able to roll over to where astronauts had planted the American flag.

That last via Ace Of Spades, which notes that maybe Jackson-Lee saw The Watchmen recently and thought it was a documentary.

In fact, maybe Jackson-Lee caught the flick in a hotel room this week. She, after all, was in Kansas City talking to the New Black Panther Party Defense Fund NAACP, and gave us this piece of brilliance:

And I thank you professor very much. I’m going to be engaging you with those very powerful numbers that you have offered on what the tea party recognizes, uh, or is recognized as. Might I add my own P.S.? All those who wore sheets a long time ago have now lifted them off and started wearing [applause], uh, clothing, uh, with a name, say, I am part of the tea party. Don’t you be fooled. [voices: "That's right.", applause] Those who used to wear sheets are now being able to walk down the aisle and speak as a patriot because you will not speak loudly about the lack of integrity of this movement. Don’t let anybody tell you that those who spit on us as we were walking to vote on a health care bill for all of America or those who said Congresswoman Jackson-Lee’s braids were too tight in her hair had anything to do with justice and equality and empowerment of the American people. Don’t let them fool you on that [applause]….

(via Gateway Pundit)

Let’s not forget this gem as well…

Standards, indeed. Unfortunately, Jackson-Lee’s seat is in all likelihood safe this fall, which means America’s standards for representation in Congress will still be dragged down by its lowest common denominator.

This stuff is always good.

Either that or Michelle Ma Belle Obumble, Fashion Plate to the Stars, Exalted Fat Nazi and Pinnacle Of Recent American Pride, doesn’t get very good advice.

Particularly when it comes to clothes.

Otherwise, how do you explain this get-up on a trip to Panama City Beach?

(Hat tip: Nice Deb)

She couldn’t figure out that was gonna be a little inappropriate? She looks like one of those Code Pink sows after a typical anti-oil histrionic outbreak.

And while we’re at it, what’s the deal with the Steve-O impression?

These friggin’ people. Who put ‘em in charge?