Over at her campaign website today, Democrat candidate-for-an-unspecified-statewide-office Caroline Fayard has released a statement attempting to achieve exoneration for the damaging “I hate Republicans” gaffe she rolled out in Bogalusa two weeks ago.

You can judge it for yourself, but to our way of thinking Fayard isn’t particularly helping herself.

The statement reads as follows, with our comments interspersed where necessary…

In recent days, a small group of Republican insiders in Baton Rouge have been wildly distorting comments I made about some Republican policies and campaign tactics.

Not really. It was the newspaper in Bogalusa which quoted you as saying “I hate Republicans,” “they eat their young,” “they are cruel and destructive,” “they don’t think,” “they don’t allow people to think” and “they are bullies.” Perhaps the Bogalusa paper is run by a bunch of GOP insiders, but we doubt it. They’re not exactly famous insiders if they are.

And when you say you hate somebody and that they eat their young, it’s kinda hard to distort that. Speaks for itself, so to say.

Why would these insiders breathlessly attack a private citizen who is not currently running for office?

Because you’re running for office, Caroline. You just won’t admit it yet because you’d prefer not to draw fire from a specific opponent. That’s a pretty cheesy way to operate, and other Democrats who might have specific plans for running statewide are likely a lot more upset about it than “these insiders” are since they’re being affected a lot more than the Republicans are by your cloak-and-dagger act. But to each his (or her) own.

But “breathlessly attack?” It would appear you’re being attacked with a pretty full throat. They’ve got plenty available breath to ridicule you. That’s what happens when you throw out blood libels at people; they tend to respond.

Well, last year our campaign for Lieutenant Governor surprised a lot of people with our strong showing. These attacks are especially odd since I’ve been approached by a wide range of Republicans in recent weeks about switching parties. Then, Republican party insiders demanded I reveal my future plans for public office. When it became clear I would not switch or meet their demands, the attacks began.

You got beat by 14 points. That’s not a strong showing, it’s a rout. There isn’t a Republican candidate in Louisiana who would turn down a 57-43 runoff victory this very minute. 55-45 is considered a landslide; and you were beaten in a landslide with two percent to spare.

By the way, please forward to us the names of the Republicans who have asked you to switch. We’re quite interested to know who they are so that we can denounce such clowns with maximum disrespect. We know lots of Republicans; we don’t know any who think it would be a good idea to add trial lawyers who think conservatism is defined by church attendance and taking pictures with the least popular president in Louisiana since Abe Lincoln is smart politics to the party’s list of candidates.

I guess they figure if they could not switch me or bully me they would try to smear me.

Maybe they could just say you eat your young. Would that qualify as a smear?

Unfortunately for my attackers, their bullying has not had the desired effect. The attacks have only served to give me clarity about my future, and the future I see for Louisiana.

It appears it’s given clarity to a lot of people about your future. John Maginnis, for example, likened you to Charlie Sheen. Maginnis might be an “insider,” but he’s not a particularly Republican one.

At this point it’s probably a good idea to address what’s unsaid in this little missive; namely, the implication that the mean ol’ Republicans are shakin’ in their boots about Fayard.

The fact is, for a while she was considered somebody to be concerned about. Young, kinda-sorta well-spoken, connections with national Democrats and supposedly access to a lot of money – Fayard had the look of a credible candidate. But that’s not really the case anymore, whatever conceit Fayard might have for herself. First, Jay Dardenne – who’s a veteran politician and a guy who might well end up being governor but not somebody who necessarily fires up Republicans all over Louisiana – beat the living hell out of her in that race last year. Then, it turns out that all this money Fayard supposedly reeled in was actually her daddy’s money routed through the state Democrat Party in a gross trampling of the state’s campaign finance laws.

Then she puts out one of the dumbest, ugliest political rants seen in Louisiana since Puggy Moity was around.

All of a sudden, she’s not such a big deal. She’s just a lot of fun to beat on, because she deserves it – and frankly, because there aren’t many Democrats around anymore worth taking shots at.

They have wrongly claimed that I said that I hate all Republicans. That’s not true. I don’t hate anybody. I love America. I love Louisiana, and I love Louisianans. I love going fishing with my little brother on the Tickfaw River, to church on Sundays, and to a Saturday night in Tiger Stadium.

Does she like unicorns, too? How about rainbows?

What part of “I hate Republicans,” “they eat their young,” “they are cruel and destructive,” “they don’t think,” “they don’t allow people to think” and “they are bullies” doesn’t jive with the state GOP accusing you of saying “I hate Republicans,” Caroline? This would go much more smoothly if you’d just say “I got carried away and I’m sorry. That was over the top and I regret it.”

The fact that not only won’t you apologize for it but you’re off on a new tangent against “bullies” and “insiders” who “distort” what you’re saying kinda makes it sound like you stand by your statements but don’t care for the consequences of them. We’ll spare you the tangent on how this makes you the quintessential modern Democrat – but we can launch into that one any time you’re ready.

I love the rhythm of Louisiana. I embrace life here. We work hard, and we play hard. We love our families, cherish our faith, and celebrate each other.

By eating our young. Especially out of a pot with potatoes and Zatarain’s crab boil, with some stuffed mirlitons on the side. Ca, c’est bon! Dat’s a celebration, cher!

My party affiliation is only one part of who I am. And, while I’m proud to be a lifelong Democrat, my grandfather was a Republican, a veteran, and small business owner from Livingston Parish where I grew up. One of my earliest childhood memories is writing President Reagan a letter, and the President sending me back a signed photo in return.

What I said in my comments about certain Republicans related to the self-serving policies promoted by a handful of Baton Rouge insiders and the way they strong-arm those who oppose them. In an attempt to speak candidly, I chose my words carelessly. The sentiment behind my words, however, remains. Their actions have hurt us and our future, and they are dead wrong. I don’t back off that belief one inch.

Now it’s only certain Republicans Miz Caroline hates. The ones in Baton Rouge. We’re getting more specific here. But the “sentiment behind my words” is still there.

This after stating a couple of paragraphs ago that she doesn’t hate anybody. Maybe Papa Fayard ought to launder a few bucks through the state Democrat party for a proofreader?

I was also making a point about the scorched earth tactics of a few of these same people. They responded to my criticism of deceptive attack dog politics with more deceptive attack dog politics.

They made my point.

They printed up bumper stickers with your words on them. You screwed up and gave them a cheap opportunity to treat you like a fool. Did you really expect otherwise? Big Democrat donor like you?

We need new leaders with new ideas in Baton Rouge.

I am shocked at the deep budget cuts directed at public schools, students, teachers, and our veterans. It pains me when I see strong men and women suffer to find a decent job. I hurt deeply when I see empty storefronts, businesses struggling, and young people leaving our state for opportunities in other places, never to return.

Yeah, right. The state’s unemployment rate jumped by two points after your buddy Obama shut off offshore drilling in the Gulf, but new leaders with new ideas in Baton Rouge will fix that. Like raising taxes, for example.

By the way, which deep budget cuts to public schools have been proposed by the current governor? Salary freezes don’t equal budget cuts, so you’ll know.

This is why I’ve come home. I’ve planted my flag in Louisiana, and it is here I take my stand for the state that I love. I am unbowed, unbossed, and unbought. I won’t be bullied, and I won’t run scared.

It is time to put an end to the politicians that put special interests and the powerful in the driver’s seat and put Louisianans in the rearview mirror.

You won’t run scared? You won’t say what office you’re running for. What is that, courage?

It’s particularly rich that the daughter of one of the nation’s largest donors to political campaigns, who has been donating thousands of dollars to campaigns herself since the age of 14, has the temerity to assail “special interests and the powerful.” A nice touch.

There are really two kinds of people in politics: those who cave in when the going gets tough, and those who stand with the people.

When I sought office before—and if I seek it again—I will do so not running for or against any party. I will run to make a difference for the people of Louisiana.

Nah, you’re not running against the people you say you hate. Because that wouldn’t make sense at all – right, Caroline?

For our schools, our jobs, and some fiscal sanity, I will be a leader who sides with the people of this state. Our state has a unique culture, has faced unique crises, and weathered unthinkable disasters. Louisianans bend but they don’t break.

I want to be a leader as good as the people of Louisiana. I may bend, but I won’t break.

I am a daughter of Louisiana, and it is here I take my stand.

“Fiscal sanity” defined as “tax increases.” And she’s taking a stand – for what? People who aren’t running for office wouldn’t bother to put out a release on their campaign websites.

Tell you what, Caroline. Why don’t you figure out what office you’re going to run for first. Then start running for it. At that point you can gripe about the treatment you’re getting from the people you hate.

In the meantime, a good piece of advice would be: shut up. The more you talk, the worse you’re making things.