Sorry for the misleading headline, but that’s the way I roll.

In the greatest blow to the entertainment world since the death of Rip Taylor–oh, wait, he’s still  alive–rapper “Lil Boosie” has been sentenced to eight years in prison after pleading guilty to drug charges.

Lil Bossie, a 29 year-old from Baton Rouge, was caught smuggling drugs into two state prisons–Louisiana State Penitentiary at Angola and Dixon Correctional Institute in Jackson.

He was caught with codeine, marijuana and ecstasy. Despite an extensive cavity probe from state employees who really hate their jobs, no talent was found on or in Lil Boosie.

Lil Boosie was in prison serving time on previous drug charges and because he is the victim of a racist society filled with white people keeping him down while shelling out money for his crappy music.

It was discovered that Lil Boosie whose real name is—well, nobody cares—was helped bring the drugs in by a prison guard who wanted the ladies to think he was cool because a big celebrity was his homie. Apparently, he thought that Lil Boosie could someday introduce him to one and continued to bring him drugs until he found out that the rapper didn’t really know real celebrities.

So, Lil Boosie will be behind bars for a while, but gangsta-rapper fans need not worry. There are rising stars of equal talent already stepping into the spotlight, like Eli Porter.

Any rapper that can work the line, “like Rosie O’Donnell at a bi-sexual bridal shower,” into a song has real potential I think. I’m not even sure what it means, but that’s why I don’t have the street-cred of lyrical geniuses like Lil Boosie and Eli.

Warning, this video is not work safe or safe for anyone who has any appreciation of real music whatsoever: