Five Jobs Worse Than Being A Louisiana Public School Teacher…

The battle to pass Gov. Jindal’s education reform package over the past few weeks was an education in itself of the sense of entitlement that permeates in our state’s public school teachers.

I’m the child of a retired school teacher and I know it’s not an easy job. It’s not the hardest job in the world either and many jobs that are at least as difficult don’t come with the perks—months of vacation time for one—an benefits that teachers get.

It got annoying to listen to red-shirted demonstrators whine that their job performance might become a  derivative in their employment and pay. And moaning that your supervisor might be able to fire you if he doesn’t like you? It’s been said before, but it’s worth repeating—welcome to the world that most of us live in.

To be honest, I don’t know if I have the patience to be a teacher, though some people have told me I would make a good one. I’m not so sure, which is why I have never gone into the profession. Still, the benefits of teaching, including the state retirement I could be building, have tempted me.

While I heard more than one teacher claim they showed up to protest at the Capitol for the sake of the children, I seriously doubt it. I imagine that if their jobs didn’t include quite as many benefits, many might discover that they don’t love kids as much as they profess.

Before any teacher reading this gets too huffy, consider that it’s been a rough fight over over school reform and it’s high-time for a little levity—especially it being Good Friday.

You do an important job and a hard one, but there are other jobs that are even harder with few benefits and no tenure. Here are my top 5:

5. Mosquito Researcher:

Believe it or not, there people who are paid to sit around and let mosquitoes bite them to study the spread of malaria and other diseases the little blood suckers carry. Part of the job is to keep tabs on how often you are bitten—as much as 17 per minute on a good day or really bad one, depending on how you look at it. Vacation time comes when you develop malaria, which took one researcher two years to shake. What a sucky job.

4. Porta Potty Cleaner:

Somebody has to do it, I’m just glad it ain’t me. I will restrain myself from using an obvious pun to describe how bad this job is.

3. High-rise Window Washer:

Getting to the top in this profession isn’t always a good thing, especially if your safety cord snaps. It’s not a bad gig for those who don’t mind heights and the chance that a simple mistake on the job could send you tumbling to you death at any given moment.

One perk to this job is the breath-taking view you get to see daily. The thought of the view seconds before kissing the pavement at 200-hundred miles per-hour makes this job even worse than putting up with a classroom filed with runny-nosed second graders:

2: High-altitude power line worker:

This is kind of like the one before, only with the added benefit of painful electrocution before falling to your death:

1. Elephant Masturbator:

This one has to come in at No. 1, simply because there is actually someone being paid to do this. Perks and benefits to this job? Absolutely none.

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