He Ain’t A Sex Offender – Or So They Say

That tea-baggin’ Alabama doofus from the KrystalBurger joint on Bourbon Street goes to the funhouse today…

His lawyer says an Alabama football fan is expected to report to jail today after his sentencing in New Orleans.  It stems from the incident caught on video where the man was seen rubbing his genitals on the face of a passed out LSU fan after the BCS title game at the Superdome.

Attorney Michael Kennedy says a plea bargain and a two year prison sentence is the right thing for his client, Brian Downing.

“What started off as what seemed like a harmless drunken prank has snowballed into a really bad situation for a lot of people,” Kennedy explained.  “This was a regrettable mistake.”

They say he’s gonna be in jail for 10 months, but the carrot for him is that the judge won’t make him register as a sex offender. Tell that to the poor drunk dude he rubbed his junk up against that night after the championship game.

“He could never go to parent / teacher conferences.  He could never go to a little league game,” the attorney said. “That was just too big of a risk.  While his son will not remember that daddy went to jail for ten months, he would remember if something went wrong, and his father was never able to be there.”

Can you imagine bein’ this cat’s teacher and HE shows up for a parent-teacher conference? Can you imagine reffing his kid’s Little League games?

Well, at least he’s got a fan site now.

Interested in more national news? We've got you covered! See More National News
Previous Article
Next Article
Join the Conversation - Download the Speakeasy App.

Trending on The Hayride