Gather round the aluminum pole folks for it’s that special time of year where we celebrate the greatest made up holiday that doesn’t have its own postage stamp: Festivus.
The Year 2015 has not been short on grievances so let their airing commence.
Mickey Loomis- The New Orleans Saints are having their worst season under the Payton/Brees era. The players don’t seem to want to play and the coaches seem more like passengers in this accident scene than drivers. While dumping Rob Ryan was a good start, there needs to be a more substantial change in management and all roads lead to Mickey Loomis, the man who wasted draft picks on bad talent. The reach in the 2nd round for Stanley Jean-Baptiste alone would’ve cost any other GM his job.
As Loomis is welded to the overall Benson sports operation, a complete dismissal is not going to happen, though a reassignment of duties is a possibility.
Rob Ryan- Ryan’s “they blamed me for Katrina” line was particularly classless but considering how the Saints obtained the pot bellied defensive coordinator it was fitting for his character. He should’ve been fired at a McDonald’s, which was where he told the St. Louis Rams brass he was going when he snuck away from the franchise.
Scott Angelle- Ran as a conservative Republican in the primary for governor and then sat on the sidelines in the runoff as another conservative Republican went down to defeat. Some claim he steered his supporters to Democrat John Bel Edwards behind the scenes. Ask “Congressman” Craig Romero how that strategy worked out for his elective career.
John Bel Edwards- The soon to be governor somehow lowered the bar for Louisiana politics with his “prostitutes” ad. Even EWE didn’t go that low. He’s set an example that others will now follow.
LaToya Cantrell- The New Orleans city councilwoman opposed the Civil War monuments removal before voting for it. Cantrell’s posture was an empty gesture to sell white conservative voters on her mayoral candidacy though she apparently forgot to carry a number in her political calculations and crawfished on the matter. A true profile in courage.
LSU- What happened throughout the Les Miles unfiring fiasco embarrassed the university and the blame should be apportioned to all who had a hand in it, from AD Joe Alleva to Chancellor F. King Alexander.
That the ever candid Miles claimed at his press conference that he had just been informed moments before that he would remain as the team’s coach magnified the complete absurdity of the attempted Three Stooges-esque football coup.
Local Sports Media- if you’re going to run your mouth and post news alerts about something that is a done deal and then said deal gets undone, you ought to reveal your sources because you either didn’t have any to start with or you talk to liars.
Barack Obama- Everything, but to address his latest failure as a leader, Obama said people dislike him for his color. I say people dislike him because he’s always saying ridiculous things like that. Obama is just fuming over the fact not everyone adulates him and copes by vilifying his critics. Let’s not ask the president whether he thinks Star Wars is racist, lest this administration devolve from being just Sharptonesque to Melissa Harris-Peruvian.
Scott Walker- He was my choice for president and I think the world of him yet he merits being on this list for allowing party Establishment consultants to wreck his once leading candidacy by running up unsustainable bills and providing bad advice born from either malice or incompetence. Now I’m getting weekly emails from him begging me to send him money to pay off the campaign jackals. Forgive me for passing on this collection plate Scott. Like Loomis, you ultimately picked the team that failed you.
Mayor Mitch Landrieu- Statues and parking meters. Covered one already, will cover the latter in more detail some other time.
George Takei- Once again there’s no shortage of material to write about here but I’ll focus on his musical Allegiance, which is about the internment of Japanese-Americans during WW II.
Takei’s production exaggerates the poor conditions of the internment experience by featuring beatings, harassment, withholding of medicine, substandard living conditions, and a shooting. He further romanticizes the camp insurrectionists, vilifies the leading Japanese-American advocate, and portrays an internee who went off to war for the US in a bad light.
The internment of Japanese-Americans was a blight in American history (by the way, J. Edgar Hoover opposed it, a fact that never seems to get circulated), though Takei does the story a disservice by sensationalizes details for dramatic effect.
Mike Bayham- Yeah you, lose some weight already.
Houston Astros- I took the historically hapless team in Vegas at 60-1 odds and had they closed out at home against Kansas City I think I would’ve cashed in that ticket. Unfortunately the Astros couldn’t escape the top of the 8th with a 4 run lead. In all seriousness, congrats on a great season. The odds won’t be so long in 2016.
Pro Football Hall of Fame Voters- You’d think the all time leading NFL scorer would’ve been inducted already yet there Morten Andersen waits. Hopefully the Saints’ inducting the Great Dane into the Superdome Ring of Honor will raise his profile. Though considering how long it too punter Ray Guy to break into Canton, you’d think the deciders don’t know the game is called FOOTball.