They tell me y’all like these, and since it’s practically the weekend an’ everybody oughta have a smile on their face I figured I’d chip in with some more.
So I have three more from the Bou-Thib archive.
A mean drunk Texas Aggie at a bar is trying to impress everyone with his fightin’ ability, an’ what a martial-arts master he is.
“I am trained in every hand-to-hand combat there is,” the Aggie says. To further prove his point, he walks up to Boudreaux, who happens to be in the bar, and whops him behind the neck! “Karate chop from China,” he says.
Poor Boudreaux gets up off the floor and sits back in his seat, saying nothing. The Aggie hits him again. “Judo from Japan.” An’ down goes Boudreaux a second time.
Lil’ ol’ Boudreaux once again picks himself up off the floor and continues sipping his beer.
Next the Aggie grabs him, putting Boudreaux in a state of suspended animation. “That’s a nerve pinch from Korea.”
After a few minutes, Boudreaux is able to move again. Instead of getting back on his bar stool he walks out.
Ten minutes later he walks in with a large board in his hands and hits the drunk square in the head with the board, laying him flat out on the floor. Looking down at his tormenter, Boudreaux says, “Two-by-four from Home Depot.”
They don’t have karate in Cajun country, but they do have resourceful coonasses who do what it takes.
Next, a story of marital bliss…sort of…
Boudreaux & Marie were having their first fight, and it was a big one.
After a while, Boudreaux said “When we got married, you promised to love, honor and obey.”
Marie replied, “I know. But I didn’t want to start an argument in front of all dem people at the wedding.”
Finally, a story about nature…
Boudreaux been fish’n down by de bayou all day and he done run outta night crawlers. He be bout ready to leave when he seen a snake what got a big frog in his mouth. An’ as Boudreaux is aware that the big bass are all kinda fond of big frogs for eatin’, he decided he was gonna have that frog for fish-bait at the snake’s expense.
But the snake was a cotton-mouth water moccasin, so Boudreaux knew he was gonna have to be real careful or else he’d go from a fishin’ trip to a hospital trip real quick-like.
So what he did was he snuck up behind the snake and then grabbed him real quick around the head. Which wasn’t too popular an idea from the snake’s standpoint, because he started hissin’ and wrappin himself around Boudreaux’s arm real quick. This was gonna be some tricky business, Boudreaux knew.
So first thing, he got that frog. Pried it right outta the snake’s mouth and dropped it in his bait can.
An’ now, it’s a dilemma, because he can’t let go of that snake or else he’s gonna get bit. But he can’t hold that snake forever, either. So Boudreaux gets creative, and he reaches into the pocket of his overalls and pulls out his flask where he’s got some of that good Maker’s Mark bourbon he likes. And he pours the snake a couple drops into his mouth, figurin’ maybe the snake will be OK gettin’ some payment for that frog.
And it works, because the snake’s eyes sorta roll back in his head and he relaxes some. Boudreaux, real quick, tosses the snake back into the bayou an’ strings that frog up to his fishin’ pole.
But a few minutes later, he feels somethin’ tapping on his foot.
And he looks down, and dontcha know it’s that water moccasin what’s got two more frogs in his mouth.