The year was 2016, and I was flying Spirit Airlines for the first time.

En route from Atlanta to Houston, I looked out the window and saw New Orleans. All seemed well. Of course, I didn’t know then the things I know now.

Let’s add some much needed context to what I’m about to tell you later. Spirit Airlines, if you don’t already know, has a reputation as a company that caters to the Jerry Springer crowd. Spirit is to airlines what Motel 6 is to America’s hospitality industry.

If you don’t believe me then just visit YouTube. There, you can find the following videos:

• Brawl breaks out at Spirit Airlines ticket counter

• Spirit Airlines customer puts Orlando police officer in chokehold

• Spirit passenger slaps employee in Atlanta

• Irate, pregnant woman attacks Spirit Airlines employee

 • Passenger Has Meltdown on Spirit Airlines: ‘Let Me the F*** Off!’

• Overdosed Spirit Airlines Pilot and Wife Found Dead

 Times were tight eight years ago. Back then I knew nothing of Spirit’s reputation. I thought if I can handle Motel 6 then, surely, I could handle Spirit. Flights seem inexpensive, but I later learned the company charges an exorbitant amount for snacks and luggage fees. I would have saved money flying Delta or United.

As I flew over New Orleans, from a height of 30,000 feet, I made out the Superdome, the Crescent City Connection, and the Mississippi River…but very little else.

Then the plane hit turbulence.

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Not the kind of turbulence to which most passengers are accustomed. Nope, this was the kind of turbulence that made you wonder whether (a) the plane had collided with an asteroid or (b) I would soon reunite with long-dead kinfolk.

The steward, who identified himself as “Your Homeboy Flight Attendant,” activated the intercom.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I have something important to say. The passengers need to listen,” “Homeboy said.

“If our plane malfunctions then do the crew and me a huge favor…and please do not scream as the plane crashes to the ground.”

With that, “Homeboy” walked back to his chair.

From the passengers I heard laughter, but this laughter was nervous.

Fortunately, the plane did not crash. As I arrived in Houston, I almost kissed the ground. The return flight got me back to Atlanta without any turbulence (and without any brawls), although as the passengers de-planed I overheard many call friends and family to say they would never again fly Spirit Airlines.

This airline is a menace, but another, better airline almost bought it.

Almost.

Last week the U.S. District Court for the District of Massachusetts blocked JetBlue Airways’ $3.8 billion dollar acquisition of Spirit Airlines.

“The court found that JetBlue’s proposed takeover of Spirit is unlawful because it ‘does violence to the core principle of antitrust law: to protect the United States’ markets – and its market participants – from anticompetitive harm,’” according to the U.S. Department of Justice.

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The court’s decision follows a 17-day trial that began last fall. Last March, the Justice Department, California, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, and the District of Columbia sued to stop the merger under Section 7 of the Clayton Act.

I’ve never flown JetBlue, also an economy airline. I’m all about competition, and I hate monopolies. I can’t help but wonder, however, if the takeover had happened then would that have made the sky a less hazardous place?

Fly Spirit at your own risk.

And, pilots, for obvious reasons, please lock the cockpit doors. Otherwise Jerry Springer riffraff could start a brawl mid-flight….one that could spill over into the cockpit and cause a potentially catastrophic loss of life.

Special thanks to Warhammer’s Wife for proofreading this story before publication to make certain there were no misspellings, grammatical errors or other embarrassing mistakes and/or typos. Follow Warhammer on Twitter (or is it X Now?) @Real_Warhammer