The Hayride

And Now, The Perp Walk

And Now, The Perp Walk
January 20
13:14 2012

Via WWL-TV in New Orleans.

Hey Brian, welcome back to Louisiana.

Where’s your goatee, dude?

The question is how much jail time this clown’s gonna get. Though one imagines the reception he’ll have at Central Lockup in New Orleans this evening will make him think he’s getting the whole 10-year max.

Sweet dreams, dumbass.

Remember on the initial video when this fool said his dad was rich so he wouldn’t go to jail for what he was doing? We’ll call that a misjudgement. Pretty significant one. But how big a worm do you have to be to still be braggin’ on your paw when you’re 32 years old?

And then there’s this business…

Nice-lookin’ ex-wife he’s got there.

What the hell are these two doing in a bathtub for a wedding picture? Who does that?

And how come every time Alabama’s football team does somethin’ worthwhile their moron fans have to step in and make royal asses of themselves?

By the time all this is over, nobody’s even gonna remember that they won the championship. That will be known as the Teabag Game. And next year when Alabama goes to Baton Rouge for the rematch, their fans are gonna get lots of these thrown at ‘em.

And you know what? They can’t say a single word.

Not one word.

They say that bald-headed jackass Fineberg or Fernbug or Buttbalm or whatever his name is was talkin’ about this on his radio show and he said that there’s no way they can prosecute that case because the victim ain’t comin’ forward, and oh-by-the-way because he got himself so drunk he passed out he basically got what was comin’ to him.

To which the response is that Baldbum is an irritatin’ peckerhead. So because he’s irritatin’, it’s totally reasonable if somebody comes up behind him and brains him with a Louisville Slugger. Because he’s irritatin’, y’know. People shouldn’t have to get irritated. And you really can’t blame somebody for whackin’ him on the head – he caused it. That chick with the miniskirt was just askin’ for it; that kinda thing.

Why you’d defend this Brian fool on the radio is beyond me. Just shows what a turd you are to do that.

He’s perfectly good where he is, that Fawnbloom guy. And y’know what? Ol’ Brian is perfectly good where he is tonight, too.

UPDATE: Cousin T-Roy, who lives in Mobile and does corporate headhunting, said he thinks he can help Ol’ Brian out. He asked me to pass along this link because he thinks they might be hiring somebody with his skill set and previous work experience.

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  1. One down
    One down January 19, 23:26

    Lost his job…

  2. Anonymous
    Anonymous January 19, 23:56

    So, with a supposed “Big Shot” daddy he dines at Krystal?  Daddy must have cut his allowance off a long time ago.  That’s some horrible burgers kinda like White Castle up north.  YUCK!!

  3. anotherstupidpddecision
    anotherstupidpddecision January 20, 08:46

    This is one of the dumbest things I have ever seen a person get arrested for.  Really, this is the best that the New Orleans PD have to do, they are one of the most corrupt police forces in the nation and their city is one of the biggest pits in the country.  They only arrested this guy b/c it was a bama fan doing it to an lsu fan, if it was the other way around no one would even care.

    • Oscar
      Oscar January 20, 09:00

      So sexual battery is perfectly OK with you? Good to know, stupid.

  4. TerrorTrends
    TerrorTrends January 20, 09:11

    I heard the radio show yesterday and the comments by the host were completely despicable. He blamed the victim for the incident even occurring. 

  5. Sgtnipmuc
    Sgtnipmuc January 20, 11:47

    If he worked for a sporting goods company I’m seriously worried about what he may have used the baseball glove-lube for; to soften the leather or to stiffen his  grip surface.

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