Poor, Poor Mr. Kern

Blaine Kern, 83 year old Mardi Gras float monopolist, is dealing with the sad situation of having his son file a suit against him for control of his float company. But wait its not all bad!  He has a 34 year old wife who he loves very dearly, and you can’t put a money tag on love! Oh…she’s his 4th wife? Well….ahem…slightly different situation there.

But, clearly, the maxim (pun intended) still applies because Kern seems to have felt the need to spend the vast finances of his company on keeping up with Holly’s high-maintenence lifestyle.  Wait, thats probably unfair, its not that high maintenence: just a little splurge on multiple houses and expensive cars.  Who needs jewlery these days anyway?  Give me a few cars and a mansion and I’m set.

According to the Times Picayuneshortly after his lovely marriage to the equally lovely Holly Brown, “Kern’s expenditures on such items as houses, cars and entertainment has “skyrocketed,” as did his debts, forcing him to ask for cash advances from the company.”

So, here’s to true love, mansions, and cars and men marrying women 49 years below their age! Enjoy this pleasent video of Kern’s wedding day in Hawaii.



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