From an e-mail we got over the weekend…

A guy walked into the local unemployment office to pick up his check.

He marched straight up to the counter and said, “Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing unemployment. I’d really rather have a job.”

The worker behind the counter said, “Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You’ll have to drive around in his new Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You’ll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say, but you will also have, as part of your job, to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20′s and has a rather strong sex drive.”

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, “You’re bullshittin’ me!”

The worker said, “Yeah, well .. You started it.”