Anybody Watch The Five Today?

It was good stuff. Not better than your better Glenn Beck shows, but at the end of the day Beck was starting to get stale.

Know what’s not stale? This is what’s not stale – Greg Gutfeld shellacking Bob Beckel with the hooker references.

Not once. Not twice. Not three, four or even five times.

No, no. SIX times.

(Link in case the embed won’t open. This is the segment where they talk about the debt ceiling, but it doesn’t actually pick up any of Gutfeld’s hammering on Beckel’s sex life. He does that in this one, though. Somebody’s gonna cut up the show and highlight Gutfeld’s hooker references on Beckel – I’d do it but we don’t have video-editing software in Barataria Bay.)

“Let me say this so Bob can understand it. The government is not your mom and dad, it’s your mistress. So you call her — she never calls you, and she never comes to your house.”

Even Andrea Tantaros got into the act. “Bob, you’ve been a sugar daddy before.”

Beckel, see, isn’t just obnoxious and he isn’t just a has-been dude whose career as a political operative crashed against the ceiling when he did that”Where’s the Beef?” deal for Walter Mondale in the primary against Gary Hart (who slit his own throat with the chippy on the boat anyway).

Nah, Beckel’s a trick. He makes David Vitter look like Friedrich Nietzsche.

Of course, part of the show was an evisceration of Media Matters – and in that part, Gutfeld tore them up with a lusty vigor. “I get an email every day from Media Matters, and it reads like a missive from an ex-girlfriend. It’s just a litany of how much they hate us. But in the background you’re thinking ‘maybe they just want acceptance.'” True to form, Media Matters then puts out a blog post whining about how sexist Fox News is. A tip to those guys – when they basically call you a bunch of bedwetting candy-asses, your response absolutely cannot sound like it’s coming from a bedwetting candy-ass. And you kinda mucked it.

Is Gutfeld a good fit for 4:00 Central time? Probably not. You’ve got Eric Bolling and Dana Perino talking economics and numbers and political insider-type stuff, and he’s spurting out Greg-alogues. It’s damn funny. But it doesn’t really mesh.

Of course, Beckel doesn’t mesh anywhere on Fox News. Or anywhere else, save for the bar down the street or maybe a Ben Folds Five song. There’s only so much ornery, obnoxious leftism people can take – even lefties ultimately lose it when the fat old white dude who says he doesn’t drink and write checks to strumpets anymore starts in on politics.

This could be a good show. Assumedly they’re going to have a rotating group of people on there – Lord knows Fox has enough talking heads under contract to put a rotation together.

But I wouldn’t mind watching Gutfeld drop hooker bombs on Beckel until he strokes out. If he’s gonna do six of ’em in an hour, this show could end up being fuel for a drinking game. Particularly if everybody else joins in.

“It’s like this, Bob – you’ll understand this. Oil companies are like whores. They won’t do anything unless there’s money in the trick.” Drink.

“There are things you’ve got to do as president which need to be deniable, Bob. Like for example you really can’t write a check to a hooker; people are gonna find out. And the CIA is kinda like that – you’ve got to be covert if you want this stuff to work.” Drink.

4:00 is a bit early for happy hour. But it’s 5:00 somewhere, right?

This show has some potential.



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