…but he and Lizbet wouldn’t be able to haul this bad boy in the boat.

And a .22 rifle definitely wouldn’t put his lights out. Probably just piss him off.

Not to mention that your boy Willie’s digits woulda come clean off if he got ’em too close to this monster’s mouth, unlike those lil’ weenie-gators over in Iberville.

This fella’s not a gator at all. He’s a crocodile, and he lives in Australia.

Good on ya, mate.

A boat full of tourists got to snap the picture of lifetime while floating down Australia’s Adalaide river last week. That’s because a giant saltwater crocodile leaped out of the water right next to the boat.

The picture was taken by photographer Katrina Bridgeford. According to the Telegraph, the 5.5m croc has a name, Brutus:

Ms Bridgeford was on the cruise with sons Jordan, 14, and Dylan Woodward, 11 as well as four-year-old niece Skye Bridgeford and boyfriend Daniel Wilson. Dylan had only two words when the massive man-eater rose out of the water in front of the group: “Holy crap!” The huge saltwater crocodile, which is missing its right front leg, is a favourite with tourists on the Adelaide River Cruises, because he loves his meal of buffalo meat and always puts on a good show for it.

So anyway, at some point ol’ Brutus got his leg eaten off. One imagines that was a long time ago; the idea there’s a bigger croc in that river right now to chew him up is pretty spooky.

And 5.5 meters is 18 feet.

Troy and dem have gotten a 14-footer here and there. The record catch in Louisiana is 19-foot-2, off Marsh Island. So this big boy woulda been right at the top.

Oh, and by the way. Big Al, the gator they’ve got sitting around at Prejean’s in Lafayette, goes 14 feet. Just in case you thought to ask.

Anyway, that’s an impressive croc.

But Brutus sucks as a name. Troy woulda called this guy Kangaroo-shaker or Wallabylooza or somethin.

And then he’d choot ’em. But I dunno if that’d do much good.