Guess What Happens On Saturday?

Sure will be nice to see a college football game.

Particularly since this has been a remarkably crappy offseason.

The last few years, LSU was lucky to have dead-quiet summers. Very few people getting arrested, no BS with the NCAA, not a lot of drama with this guy flunking out of school or that guy being ineligible and so on.

Yeah, well – this year they’ve been up to their asses in alligators. This year it’s been kinda like Troy Landry’s boat. Except Troy’s gators are dead when they get in the boat, and Les’ gators this summer have been live. Hungry, too.

But even though they’ll go into Saturday a little under strength with Jordan Jefferson suspended until God-knows-when, Russell Shepard in NCAA jail for the unpardonable offense of – gasp! – talking to a teammate about the Will Lyles thing when the NCAA was looking into it (and incidentally, how ass-backwards is that? LSU paid this dude Lyles six grand for videotape on Zach Mettenberger, who was the most important need they had to fill in the whole recruiting class and if Mettenberger didn’t look good on film they’d have had to go find somebody else, and the only reason the NCAA was even interested in LSU and Lyles is that Oregon broke the rules in paying him to help recruit Lache Seastrunk – so because Oregon used Lyles to cheat in getting Seastrunk, who never did squat at Oregon and has now transferred to Baylor, LSU won’t have Shep, who is incidentally as dangerous a guy with the ball in his hands as there is in college football, to play Oregon with) and with Josh Dworaczyk out with a bum knee…even though they’ll be missing those three, it’s still awesome to actually have a game this weekend.

And LSU’s still gonna be hard to handle.

Hard to handle.

All us nutria down here in Barataria are fired up. If you’re not fired up yet, just watch this – it’ll do ya.

Interested in more national news? We've got you covered! See More National News
Previous Article
Next Article
Join the Conversation - Download the Speakeasy App.