Kudos To Calvary Baptist

If you haven’t heard about this, the folks who run Calvary Baptist School in Shreveport just suspended like 40 kids because of one of those Harlem Shake videos they did.

Y’all know what a Harlem Shake is?

OK, take your brain out and put it someplace safe. Because you’re gonna lose IQ points for havin’ heard this.

The Harlem Shake comes from one of those real bad techno-dubstep songs out there. Some guy called Baauer did the song, and if you click here you can see the “video” for it.

There is no video for it. All there is is the song and a picture of the Baauer guy’s logo.

So people have taken to doin’ videos for the first 30 seconds of the song. Why? Beats me. But this was the first one…

And then this made it to BuzzFeed, and that’s when the “craze” got started…

It’s not exactly the birth of rock n’ roll. But somebody at BuzzFeed thought “Hey, this is awesome!” And then BuzzFeed ran with it…

From there, it mushroomed. The mainstream media caught it.

Nobody actually watches Jimmy Fallon. Y’all know that? People see clips from that show 10 times more often than they actually watch it.

Anyway, they made video farks of cartoons with it…

And it went global…

That’s the Norwegian Army doin’ the Harlem Shake. I think it’s the whole Norwegian Army. They got nothin’ better to do.

They’re all more or less then same. The very first part, there’s some clown with somethin’ on his head who’s dancin’, while everybody else kinda stands around doin’ nothin’.

Then comes the second part, after the bass drops, where the video cuts away and everybody in the frame is dancin’, most of them lookin’ like retards.

Another example…

Yep. That’s morons from the University of Texas.

This one’s probably gonna hurt some…


There’s more…

The part at the very end is the best part. But did you notice around the 2:04 mark where they had the St. Leo baseball team doin’ it?

Right. Guess what? Doofus kids from Calvary Baptist took that and ran with it. They did this…

Which isn’t as bad as some of the ones in that deal we showed before.

But it ain’t as good as some of ’em, either. High school boys dry-humpin’ each other isn’t what you’re lookin’ for at a place called Calvary Baptist Academy.

So the principal took a gander at that, stroked his chin and dropped the hammer on the doofus kids who did the video. He said “40 o’ y’all. Gone.”

He didn’t expel anybody, he just suspended ’em. Made a statement. As in, “we’re not gonna have YouTube dry-humpin’ at our Baptist religious school. Don’t do that crap again.”

To which the reaction is…

Students and parents have told KSLA News 12 they are upset because there was no degree of punishment based on the actions of the students involved. Some say, for example, that the student holding the camera was not in the video and therefore should not be punished the same as those who stripped down and danced.

The school opted instead for one level of punishment across the board: 2 days of out of school suspension.

The students? Nobody should give a rat’s butt what the students think. You’re a high school kid who did a YouTube dry-hump video, shaddap and learn somethin’ from that suspension.

The parents?

When your kid who you pay good money to send to a Baptist religious school pays off that investment by bein’ in a YouTube that will be on the internet for the rest of time where high school boys are faux-buggering each other, your response is not to tell the TV station that Junior’s two-day suspension doesn’t fit the crime because he held a camera or that he was off to the side with a jockstrap over his shorts doin’ the Dougie and not the pelvic thrust into some guy’s caboose.

No. Your response is “thank God Junior didn’t get run off so I’d have to put him in public school.” And “Junior disgraced the family and he’s lucky we’re not gonna lock him in the toolshed until he turns 18.”

The principal at Calvary Baptist is a guy named Kevin Guerrero. Good for him. Call him a stuffed shirt if you want, but he’s the principal and he’s doin’ his job. A principal is supposed to come down on dumb stuff like this. Principals, if they’re any good, put the “dic” in dictator.

At least this Guerrero guy has some stones. And some standards.



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