Duck Dynasty vs. Oprah

Y’all have already heard this bidness about Oprah and the $38,000 purse she was gonna buy in Switzerland but for the racist clerk lady who told her she couldn’t afford it, right?

If not, go Google. I ain’t linkin’ any of that stuff.

The upshot of it was that once the folks who owned that store in Switzerland got wind of what Oprah was sayin’ about them when she did the whole “you can be rich as me and black and they’ll still treat you like poo because you’re black” thing while she was promotin’ that flick she’s in about the butler guy who apparently looked a little like Idi Amin, they didn’t like it.

And they called her a liar.

And when a bunch of racist Swiss – Swiss! Who can stand the Swiss, anyway? – double down and call you a liar, you’re pretty much honor-bound to go ballistic on ’em, right? You’d think Oprah would bump her Lindsey Lohan reality show on that boob-bait network she’s got in favor of documentaries on how the Swiss control everything and screwed over the Jews in WW2 and how they’re a bunch of lousy gun nuts and inbred Euro rednecks and Lord knows what else.

Instead, she mumbled something that almost sounded like an apology.

Because she’d already gotten her point across about how she’s still treated like crap because she’s black even though she’s got $3 billion, or at least she had it before she started takin’ a bath on the boob-bait network. That she made that point usin’ somethin’ that was pretty much a lie, and it’s been pretty much exposed as suchlike, just means it’s time to cut and run outta that story and move on – like she did when she pulled almost the same stunt when bitchin’ about how the Hermes store in Paris told her to buzz off back in 2005.

You can Google that one, too. I ain’t gonna get caught up in Oprah stories here; I got rednecks to bring in.

And specifically, the Duck Dynasty rednecks. Who were in New York this week and got treated in a way that if Oprah had to endure it would turn into an intergalactic outrage like we ain’t seen since – well, since some rodeo clown put on an Obama mask and ran away from a bull. But that’s another post.

Anyway, poor Jase had a problem at a hotel. He says he was “facially profiled” on account of a scraggly beard.

That might have been just as big a lie as the one Oprah told. You never know who might be from LSU – the guy at the hotel coulda been a Tiger baseball fan pissed off about the dumb Rally Corn thing he did that put a hex on Mainieri’s guys in Omaha.

But did he make a big deal about it? No. He said it was fine, no big deal.

All your creepy sophisticated folks who look down at Duck Dynasty and take direction from Oprah – what’s funny is that they’re a hell of a lot more polite and cool to people than she’ll ever be.

Maybe that’s why the more the people see of the Duck Dynasty rednecks the more they like ’em. That might not be all that true of Oprah anymore.

Interested in more national news? We've got you covered! See More National News
Previous Article
Next Article
Join the Conversation - Download the Speakeasy App.

Trending on The Hayride