SARGE: Drivin’ Miss Mary

In an interview dripping with hypocrisy Mary Landrieu decried the fact she’s more the fading ingénue than the golden girl she once perceived herself to be. She believed herself virtually immortal among the pantheon of Washingtonian demi-gods but is now sensing her fallibility, her growing weakness and the obviousness of her descent from on high. Her grasp on her new committee chairmanship may be firm but the chair itself is sitting on a balsa wood platform infested with termites.

She’s being buffeted by her enemies having a heckuva lot more money than she does.

Miss Mary is being driven not by a chauffeur, but by the cash bulldozer directed by the Koch brothers, two gentlemen she’d have been better served by not ticking them off. And their little Super PAC; “Americans for Prosperity” is financially whipping her plus-sized butt. It’s led to a loss of her 13-point lead over Bill Cassidy. And Cassidy hasn’t even slipped the wrapper off of the cash he’s been carefully saving in his little piggy-bank.

This is getting interesting. And that interest is caused by the obvious discomfort Miss Mary is feeling. Gone is the self-righteous belligerence born of bravado. It’s more a matter of what I refer to as “the call of the turbine”; you know the whine growing louder by the moment as what you once dished out to your opposition has been dropped unceremoniously onto your  plate and you know you have to eat it?

She says the Koch’s Super PAC attack isn’t fair. “I’ve had 3 million dollars spent against me by the Koch brothers who are libertarians,” said Landrieu. “They just don’t believe in government in any shape or form, virtually and I think they’re wrong and I think that philosophy is dangerous.” (

She didn’t have a problem when she had all the money.

And, it’s dangerous only if you’re jeopardized by associations and alliances molded under the pressures of a government running away from controls exerted by your constituency. The fact is her statement the Kochs don’t “believe in government in any form” isn’t so much dangerous as it is a lie.

Libertarians and Conservatives favor government controlled by the Constitution and the Bill of rights and not a government trying to constipate constituent participation and dissolve the Bill of Rights by force-feeding them a socialist load of manure.

Miss Mary has always exhibited symptoms of what is called: Political Janusian Vision. Janus was the Roman god of beginnings and transitions. Janus is usually depicted as having two faces. Miss Mary has two faces: one looking real worried and one looking up Obama’s butt. I guess she’s looking for inspiration from all of the oratorical wisdom and misleading promises he’s issued. (Don’t you love the irony?)

Miss Mary is most famous for the Louisiana Purchase; a deal she cut in favor of ObamaCare. She insisted the Medicaid boost worth $300 million wasn’t a pay-off in exchange for her vote. She defiantly said she’d do it all over again if she had to. And we believe her.

Now she’s proclaiming she told Obama he must fix ObamaCare. Then she outlined her efforts to change and improve the sputtering and credibility starved healthcare machine a machine she had no small part in constructing, advertising as a necessity and foisting upon America.

Miss Mary. If you’d read the bill, addressed the issues and been the integrity laden maven of all things good in politics you wouldn’t have had to tell Obama a darned thing. The mess we know as ObamaCare might have avoided becoming the debacle it is if you’d really done your job: protect the people of Louisiana from poorly crafted, agenda-driven political chicanery.

“I don’t need this job badly enough; maybe some people do, I don’t — to throw the people of my state under the bus to protect myself politically,” Landrieu said on the Senate floor.

I’d suggest the polls indicate voters agree she doesn’t need the job but that she’d sell us out in a heartbeat.

It seems history is the GPS directing Miss Mary’s driving toward her career’s sunset.

Thanks for listening.

Interested in more national news? We've got you covered! See More National News
Previous Article
Next Article
Join the Conversation - Download the Speakeasy App.

Trending on The Hayride