It’s Friday afternoon and it’s August, so if y’all actually readin’ the internet today you need to get you a life. Or a fishin’ pole. Somethin’.
But seein’ as though y’all obviously don’t got anythin’, you can at least get a joke. So here’s one.
Ol’ Boudreaux had his mule Bessie locked up in de trailer behind his truck an’ he was drivin’ down Highway 304 over by Chackbay, and all of a sudden he done got hisself in a bad ol’ wreck.
And because it was such a bad ol’ wreck Boudreaux had to hire dat lawyer Thibodeaux who got his face on all dose billboards in Paincourtville, an’ go sue the other driver’s insurance company for his mental anguish and bodily injury and all dat. Not to mention the loss of ol’ Bessie, who died shortly after that wreck.
But Lawyer Thibodeaux read the police report on Boudreaux’s accident and said “We might gotta settle this case before it go to trial, Boudreaux. You got incriminatin’ evidence to your case.”
“Naw,” Boudreaux said. “I can splain whatever you got.”
And Boudreaux wouldn’t listen to the low-ball settlement offers by dat insurance company. So against Thibodeaux’s better judgement the case went to court.
So there was Boudreaux on the stand, and the insurance company’s lawyer, a mean-lookin’ Uptown New Orleans type named De La Fosse, leaned in on him and said “Boudreaux, what are you suing for? You told the state trooper at the scene of the accident that you were fine. Isn’t that true?”
“I can splain dat for you,” said Boudreaux.
“No, no,” said De La Fosse. “You said you were fine. Is that true? Yes or no.”
“Like I said,” came the reply, “I can splain dat.”
De La Fosse was perturbed. “Your Honor,” he asked the judge, “would you please direct the witness to answer the question?”
Boudreaux implored the judge “Lemme say my piece, Ya Honor, please.”
“We’ll let him give his explanation,” the judge said.
“T’ank you, Ya Honor,” said Boudreaux. “Now, when I done got run off dat road and my trailer got wrapped around dat tree, and I was thrown out de truck and into a ditch, I was all beat up. I don’t remember too much. But I do remember dat ol’ Bessie was howlin’ and bayin’ in lotsa pain. And I saw dat state trooper walkover by poor Bessie and take out his gun an’ shoot her dead. I s’pose he was tryin’ to put her outta her misery, but he shoot her dead as crabmeat.”
“And den he come over by me and he ax’ me how I was.
“Now, Ya Honor, you tell me. What would you gonna say to dat question?”