Coming Soon: State Senator…Gary Chambers?

Sure, why not? It isn’t like somebody who’s actually worth having in the Louisiana Senate will get elected in District 15, so why not go all the way down the rabbit hole?

North Baton Rouge is my home. I was born in this community, raised here, and  started my journey here. For the past few years I’ve dedicated my life to helping ring the alarm on the issues our community faces. Because I grew up here, I remember when you didn’t have to drive miles to go to a decent grocery store. I remember when our community had equal access to healthcare. I could list five or six other I things I remember, but they all lead to one thing, our community has seen better days. For that reason, I’m considering running for state senate to do something about it.

Chambers has set himself up as Baton Rouge’s leading race hustler, coming to the height of his fame after the Alton Sterling shooting and spending the last two and a half years struggling to maintain that relevance by participating in a few Tawana Brawley-style hoaxes perhaps most notably the slander of local judge Mike Erwin as a racist last year. Things appear to be slowing down for Chambers of late, though, seeing as though last week’s events all but surely have derailed the Alton Sterling train as a racial cottage industry and there are far brighter lights than Chambers available to savage the St. George organizers as racists out to get the black community in Baton Rouge.

Given such dire circumstances, a run for elective office seems almost inevitable. And like they say, go big or go home. Taking on Regina Barrow in District 15 is about as big as Chambers can go without it being an unmistakable joke. He’s not going to run for governor, after all…though wouldn’t that be the kind of circus you’d take your whole family to?

So perhaps we’ll get the Chambers-Barrow UFC fight in next fall’s elections, complete with a Battle of the Sexes and accusations of Uncle Tom and Aunt Jemima, and who’s more authentically “woke,” and so forth. We wouldn’t call it dignified, but it won’t be boring.

What’s perhaps a little more likely is that some sort of non-profit sinecure is found for Chambers. Perhaps out of the newfound MovEBR slush fund and how it accounts for “community enhancement projects” – after all, enhancing Gary Chambers’ community and his bank account is precisely what voters in East Baton Rouge were aiming to do when passing that billion-dollar sales tax increase, no? Buying Chambers off with taxpayer funds and preserving Barrow’s seat in the hands of Baton Rouge’s political ruling class is perhaps the most predictable outcome imaginable here.

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Chambers knows it, and so should you.

But if that’s not to be, what we can also expect is to see Chambers sweating in the waiting room at the offices of lots of Republican businessmen in South Baton Rouge, anxious to make his pitch for how he himself is a businessman and he’ll be a good vote against unions and unnecessary regulations and so on. Maybe some of the more soft-hearted among that crowd might even believe it and cut him a campaign check or two.

But if you think Gary Chambers would satisfy the definition in the old joke about an honest politician – namely, that when he’s bought he stays bought – just remember the other old saying about how a fool and his money are soon parted.

Grifters gonna grift. And elective politics is the best grift of all.

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