BAYHAM: The Haunted Mansion Reboot Is A Rare Disney Win

The executive offices of the self-professed Happiest Place on Earth haven’t known much joy as of late.

Disney’s streaming services are taking a financial beating, the company laid off 7000 employees, and the studios suffered a stinging indignity at the box office with the fifth and final installment of the Indiana Jones franchise, the Dial of Destiny, barely recouping its staggering $300,000,000 investment, financially finishing far behind the awful Kingdom of the Crystal Skull box office take by hundreds of millions of dollars.

Throw in Disney’s high profile social issues battles with Florida governor Ron DeSantis and increasing complaints about poor quality control and exorbitant prices at their theme parks and you’ll see a lot more Grumpy than Happy.

The release of the remake of the Haunted Mansion film twenty years after the original one starring Eddie Murphy attempted to bring one of the theme park’s most iconic and popular attractions could usher in some good news the Disney folks need.

Now let me preface this review: this is not a well-produced Disney movie that will be in the running for an Oscar.

It’s not well-written. It’s not well-acted. It’s not well-produced. In fact it almost doesn’t seem like a Disney movie at all, for even their flops have good production quality.

However I’ll tell you what it doesn’t have: politics. And aside from a single line meant at being “real” and another subtle yet bawdy quip that is fairly unnoticeable, it’s a fairly family friendly film.

And in light of the cancellation of Splash Mountain and the tossing of Br’er Rabbit down the politcally correct memory hole, the film makers manage to deftly dodge the obvious and potentially awkward matter: explaining the history of a giant antebellum “mansion” located in south Louisiana.

What it does have?

New Orleans.

And very much in the same vein that local actor and radio talk show host Spud McConnell lamented about how the city is often stereotypically portrayed.

The film conveys that every funeral is a jazz and dance party and voodoo references are heavy, leading one to think that we must sacrifice chickens to gain favor with Baron Samedi in St. Louis Cathedral before buying our lotto tickets.

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We are also portrayed as the unhealthiest carbon-based life forms on the planet, which is a hurtful and unfa…..OK, on that one we are guilty as charged.

And the movie is very heavy on the Disney dark ride while giving the random happy haunts a narrative and an identity, though one of them serves as the leading villain, and it’s not the character from the ride you’d assume.

Even.the pre-ride punny visuals make an appearance.

Beyond the ride references, the movie does have a message, the need to move past personal loss and grief and a warning about playing with the occult.

Practically every spooktacular visual tourists glimpse from the comfort of their “doom buggy” is represented in the film and by extension now makes the ride even better.

Watching Haunted Mansion in a move theater was like riding Haunted Mansion at the theme parks and a fun film true to the attraction and light on social commentary placement.

Walt Disney himself would’ve thoroughly enjoyed this movie that features an area of the country that fascinated him so much he created an entire area of his California Disneyland Park to give tourists a taste of New Orleans- where the Louisiana Pelican flag flies over a detailed recreation of the Vieux Carre, though without the “authentic ” smell (Walt’s words from the ribbon cutting).

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