GARLINGTON: The Bill Cassidy Comedy Tour

Coming soon to a Louisiana city or media outlet near you, the hilarious hijinx of US Senator Bill Cassidy!  Bring the whole family to experience all the knee-slappers and side-splitters that are the hallmark of Illinois Bill!

And since we’ve heard from so many of you folks clamoring for a preview – ‘Don’t be stingy, lay some of those hee-haws on us now!’ – well, we’re so excited about our man we’re happy to comply!

Here’s the set-up on fiscal responsibility:

U-S Senator Bill Cassidy is once again not seeing eye-to-eye with Governor Jeff Landry as the senior senator opposes the idea of sending Louisiana National Guard troops to the U-S-Mexico border. Cassidy has concerns about the projected cost to the state…

“The Advocate reported it might cost as much as three million dollars and if you add that to the $135 million we’re going to spend on closed primaries that’s a lot of money for a state like Louisiana.”

And here’s the punchline:

As I travel across Louisiana, nearly every community has desperate infrastructure needs. Congress came together to put forward a historic investment in our nation’s roads, bridges, waterways, and online infrastructure. The Infrastructure Investment and Jobs Act (IIJA) is the largest investment in infrastructure and coastal resiliency in the history of our state.

. . . The law is $550 billion of new infrastructure spending, combined with regular, baseline annual spending.

. . . received the single largest award in the entire country at $600 million to build a Direct Air Capture hub in Southwest Louisiana.

For the price of one boondoggle carbon capture project, Louisiana could fund the Louisiana Guard at the Texas border and closed primaries four times over.  Good one Bill!

Here’s ol’ Bill winding up on Pres. Trump and Jan. 6:

Cassidy said he voted to convict Trump “because he is guilty.” In a follow-up letter sent to newspapers around Louisiana, Cassidy acknowledged the vote would draw complaint.

“I have no illusions that this is a popular decision. I made this decision because Americans should not be fed lies about ‘massive election fraud.’ Police should not be left to the mercy of a mob. Mobs should not be inflamed to disrupt the peaceful transfer of power,” Cassidy wrote. “I took an oath to support and defend the Constitution.”

And here comes the finish:

Republican Congressman Clay Higgins issued a warning to FBI officials investigating the Capitol Riots, saying that they are “going down.”

More than 1,100 Americans have been charged for their alleged roles in the Jan. 6 riot, which took place in 2021 when a group of former President Donald Trump‘s supporters violently protested the 2020 presidential election results.

Higgins, a Louisiana Republican, has been a vocal proponent of the theory that federal agencies planted people at the scene and provoked the riot as an excuse to arrest conservatives.

Speaking to Lara Logan, a former CBS News correspondent turned right-wing commentator, Higgins, a former law enforcement officer himself, advanced his theories, claiming the FBI is tracking Trump supporters who were in Washington over the days leading up to the Capitol Riots and treated as suspected terrorists. He said those on a supposed list are still tracked by air marshals to this day despite not being convicted of crimes.

And the flourish:

Republican Rep. Clay Higgins accused the FBI of having a “ghost bus” of informants impersonating pro-Trump supporters during the Jan. 6, 2021, attack in Washington, D.C.

The remarks were made at a Homeland Security Committee hearing on Wednesday, Nov. 15. Clay drilled FBI Director Christopher Wray on whether the agency was involved in the insurrection — where the angry mob stormed the U.S. Capitol in an attempt to overturn the 2020 presidential election results.

. . . “Can you confirm that the FBI had confidential human sources at the ‘Stop the Steal’ rally on January 6 here in D.C., sir?” Higgins asked.

“Congressman, as we’ve discussed before, I’m not going to get into where we have or have not used confidential human sources,” Wray responded.

Audiences always enjoy a comedic duo.  Nice work, fellas!

And of course you will hear plenty of old classics, like these great lines about the freedom of the press in the Ukraine:

“We are thankful for those in the free press who risk their lives to show the world the truth of what is happening in Ukraine,” said Dr. Cassidy. “The world must know the atrocities Putin is directing the Russian army to commit.”

That get comically upended like a pie in the face:

Gonzalo Lira, an American citizen and journalist of Chilean descent who had been exposing corruption in Ukraine, has reportedly died while in the custody of Ukrainian forces.

Some of the topics Lira covered included Hunter Biden’s corrupt business operations in Ukraine and how they were tied to the country’s puppet president Volodymyr Zelensky and the neo-Nazi Azov Battalion.

According to Tucker Carlson, Lira’s father confirmed his son recently passed away in a Ukrainian prison where he “was being held for the crime of criticizing the Zelensky and Biden governments.”

“Gonzalo Lira was an American citizen, but the Biden administration clearly supported his imprisonment and torture. Several weeks ago we spoke to his father, who predicted his son would be killed,” Carlson wrote on social media.

Gonzalo Lira, Sr. says his son has died at 55 in a Ukrainian prison, where he was being held for the crime of criticizing the Zelensky and Biden governments. Gonzalo Lira was an American citizen, but the Biden administration clearly supported his imprisonment and torture. . . . The journalist died after a “nearly three-month battle with pneumonia” that was ignored by his captors, according to his dad.

And let’s not forget about bonuses like the hilarious senatorian handwringing about Russian lawlessness and brutality:


Supporting Ukraine’s fight for freedom against the tyrannical, lawless Russian invasion of Ukraine’s sovereign territory is among the most urgent missions the West has faced in a generation. So far, Russian forces have been stymied by stiff Ukrainian resistance, and we must redouble our efforts to prevent a brutal and unlawful takeover of Ukraine.

While – whoops-a-daisy! – overlooking the atrocities of the Zelensky regime against the Orthodox Church and other civilians:

Russia has called for an emergency United Nations Security Council meeting after Ukraine launched cluster bombs on the border city of Belgorod that killed 14 civilians on Saturday.

The Russian Defense Ministry claimed Kiev deployed cluster munitions, banned by 110 nations under a 2008 UN convention, against civilian targets, which it called a “terrorist act.”

The missiles were also launched using a RM-70 Vampire, made by the Czech Republic, a NATO member.

Russia’s deputy permanent representative to the UN Dmitry Polyanskiy demanded answers for why NATO weaponry was used by Ukraine against Russian civilians.


Police in the Chernivtsi Province of Ukraine have launched an investigation into the violent attack against His Eminence Metropolitan Longin of Bancheny of the canonical Ukrainian Orthodox Church.

As OrthoChristian reported yesterday, His Eminence was attacked at home in late January and had to go undergo surgery on his eyes. The monastery published a photo of the Metropolitan with two very severe black eyes:

. . . For two years, they’ve been beating old women, stealing churches, and dividing the Ukrainian people, making the faithful of the UOC into second-class citizens, Vladyka Longin continued. But all threats against him mean nothing to the Metropolitan, because he was, is, and always will be with God, he said.

He also spoke about how the doctors at the hospital told him that most people would have died from such an attack, but the Lord saved him.

That picture of the Metropolitan bishop with the black eyes always wins a wagonload of guffaws!

So load up the kids, the grandparents, and the neighbors and enjoy an evening of comedic genius featuring Sen. Bill Cassidy!

Don’t wait; buy your tickets now.  Shows will end after 2026!



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