If you’re a masochist who wants to feel five minutes of intense second-hand embarrassment, there aren’t many better options available to you than a Kellen Moore speech in a winning locker room.

The New Orleans Saints second-year coach paces the floor and uses the space-filler words “alright” and “OK” more liberally than a French Quarter chef shaking on the Tabasco. He looks more awkward than a Republican strategist having to explain to his client why he lost a congressional race in the reddest Texas county.

Moore obviously recognizes this fact about himself, so in order to fill the time and take the attention off himself, he awards about 42 game balls for even the most meager of accomplishments.

“Alright fellas, this guy — alright — went the entire game — OK — yes, the full 60 minutes plus overtime — alright — with zero false starts. OK, game ball to Cesar Ruiz!”

It’s the most cringe thing in all of professional sports. Very difficult to watch.

Stack this idiosyncrasy on top of Moore’s tendency to walk the sideline during games, interact with no one and bury his face in his call sheet — and, of course, the fact that the team has grossly underperformed — and an objective observer might guess that the mouth-breathing head coach has completely lost the locker room.

Only he hasn’t.

Remarkably, the collection of 53+ players who make up the New Orleans Saints roster apparently believe in what Moore is selling and are still giving full effort on Sundays.

That was evident in this week’s win against the Cleveland Browns.

The Saints narrowly escaped with a 23-22 victory after a Shedeur Sanders attempted pass on a two-point conversion in overtime fell harmlessly to the Superdome turf. Much like the last win, three weeks ago against the New York Giants, it felt more like an escape than an actual victory, but W’s are hard to get in the NFL, and a loss-weary team and fanbase will take every one they can get.

For three quarters, the game was a snooze fest that had the Superdome sounding like every fan simultaneously got a text that their grandmother had died. Then, with their backs against the wall, both teams awakened and placed the game’s outcome teetering on a knife’s edge.

For once, the dreadfully slow start (can you really even call it a start if it lasts for three quarters?) didn’t seem like Moore’s fault. The Saints had an outstanding first drive, punctuated by strong runs of 9, 5 and 18 yards by Audric Estime in his first game back with the Saints.

After a 19-yard catch and run by Juwan Johnson put the team on the Cleveland 12 yard-line, it appeared the Saints might actually score a touchdown on their opening drive for the first time this season.

That especially seemed true after back-to-back offsides penalties against the Browns put the Saints inside the 5 yard-line, but Alvin Kamara fumbled a perfect exchange from Tyler Shough, before falling on the ball for a 5-yard loss, and then Shough took a sack to stall the drive. The Saints settled for a Charlie Smyth chip-shot field goal (the only kind Saints kickers can make, apparently).

Another successful drive in the second quarter that included a 52-yard dime Shough threw to Barion Brown ended with rookie wide receiver Jordyn Tyson fumbling on Cleveland’s 1 yard-line.

The defense stopped the Browns, forcing a punt, which Brown received and then ran backwards before also fumbling.

It’s easy for fans to point to the head coach and blame him for every miscue, but at some point, players have to share some of the responsibility. Was it Moore’s fault Tyson gave away 7 points or Brown gifted the Browns an extra possession on the Saints 19? In a sense, everything is the head coach’s responsibility, but at some point, players have to hold onto the ball and not do the idiotic things that get you beat.

It’s true that Moore has to hold them accountable, and discipline them for failures. He did that this week by bringing in Estime and finally ending Kendre Miller’s disastrous tenure with the team. That seemed to work well.

But he also did it by releasing kicker Daniel Carlson and elevating Charlie Smyth. That didn’t seem to work so well. Smyth missed a 52-yarder near the end of the first quarter that proved monumental, and ultimately forced the team to play an extra quarter to get the win. No matter who the Saints install at kicker, it seems to just be the Spiderman meme.

But overall, there’s a lot to like about the team’s effort in this game. Outside of four plays, the defense was superb. Granted it was playing against a backup quarterback behind a notoriously porous offensive line, but it collected five sacks, and Sanders seldom looked in control.

On the offensive side of the ball, the Saints accumulated almost 400 yards of offense, including 160 rushing yards, which seemed entirely impossible after racking up 18 total rushing yards two weeks ago against the Steelers. An important 51 yards of that came from Shough, who dodged on-rushers with some nifty moves to take advantage of holes vacated by defenders playing man coverage.

All of this was against a team who came into the game with a 5-3 record and a defense ranked among the best in the NFL.

A Kellen hater would say the Browns shot themselves in the foot with 10 penalties for 58 yards, but a Kellen apologist would point out the Saints had only four penalties for 25 yards. Undisciplined teams produce flag fests, and that definitely doesn’t describe the Saints.

Through eight games, the team has been penalized only 49 times, an average of 6.1 per game. Only four teams in the NFL have been penalized less.

So say what you want about Moore’s halftime speeches. They’re harder to watch than an actress giving a land acknowledgment at the Oscars.

But this team hasn’t quit on him. That’s good news going into Sunday’s match against the Carolina Panthers, which will determine sole possession of first place in the NFC South.

That’s right: After Sunday, the Saints could have the inside track on hosting a home playoff game in January.

The NFL is crazy, man.