The thing you gotta unnerstand about me is, I come from a family of big achievers.
I think I mighta told you people about my nephew T-Bill, who got on TV during the Super Bowl. I don’t think I said anything about some of my other famous relatives – like my uncle Nuchy, who was the first of the clan to end up as a TV star. He got air time back when Andrea Clesi was a swell looker.
I doubt I said anything about my cousin Fred. He got himself a job up in Canada working for the government. He does tourism promotion, or something – I’m not sure exactly what. They say he’s making a good bit of money. Hazard pay, or something. Anyway, he made quite a name for himself, and we’re all really impressed.
My niece Elsie wasn’t famous before. She was a struggling model (which is pretty much the case with every nutria model there is outside of my aunt Lulu), with a bad pill habit and suicidal tendencies. A few weeks back she got soused up on vodka and Red Bull and wandered into a trap, and we all thought it was a tragedy. Well, last week Elsie turned out to be the belle of the ball after all – when Oscar de la Renta makes a skirt out of you, you’ve made it in the world.
And I myself have been on the tube before. But I didn’t enjoy it.
So now I’ve finally got a cameo appearance of my own. And y’all are all welcome to have a look. Enjoy!