This is retarded. Sorry, but it is.
When Tyell Morton placed a blow-up sex doll in a girls’ bathroom stall as a prank on the last day of school, he had no idea what he was about to get into.
He didn’t bet that a janitor’s witness of his quick exit from the school — wearing latex gloves and a hooded sweatshirt that concealed his face — might trigger administrators’ worst fears: explosives.
They locked down Rushville Consolidated High School for three hours. They called in state and local police. And before anyone could find the sex doll, K9 dogs and a bomb squad were scouring the building. Morton was soon arrested.
Now Morton, 18, faces charges that could bring up to eight years in prison. Yes — eight years. Not to mention a felony record, if he’s convicted. All for a good student with no criminal record.
All for a senior prank gone awry.
The kid put a blowup doll on a terlet. For a high school prank it’s not half bad.
If the authorities want to have a freakout about it, fine. Call in the bomb squad and act the ass. Most of the bomb threats out there are going to be false alarms, and that’s a good thing. Much better than the alternative.
Once they go into the girls’ bathroom and find out that instead of a suitcase nuke it’s a plastic Jenna Jameson, it’s time to ratchet down the adrenaline.
Charging this poor kid with Institutional Criminal Mischief isn’t just prosecutorial assholery, it’s worse. It’s the loss of our sense of humor.
I don’t wanna live in a society where a practical joke means jail time. Don’t we have enough criminals to deal with without manufacturing more due to a bunch of Barney Fife idiots in the police department and the DA’s office?