Be Safe Out There. It’s The Sequesterpocalypse.

Jim Geraghty at National Review put together a compendium of sequester-related carnage today…

Stephen Gutowski: “Just tried driving but since sequestration went into effect the roads have all crumbled into dust.”

Brendan Loy: “OH MY GOD THERE ARE GOVERNMENT WORKERS SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTING ALL OVER THE PLACE, THIS IS HORRIBLE, PLEASE MAKE IT STOP” He added, “BREAKING: CALIFORNIA DECLARES WAR ON OREGON; KENTUCKY LAUNCHES SNEAK ATTACK ON TENNESSEE. MASS CHAOS.”

Jonah: “It wasn’t until I ate my neighbor’s pancreas that I realized president Obama was right about the sequester.”

Iowahawk: “The corpses are piling up outside my window like cordwood, oh my God the humanity.”

Sebastian: “Nothing to worry about! I grabbed my double barrel shotgun & blasted #sequester through the door, just like the VP said.”

Ari Fleischer: “President Obama is right. Undo the sequester! I can’t stand it already.”

Becket Adams: “I don’t think my neighbors are taking sequestration seriously. They’re giving me weird looks and making fun of my war paint and loincloth.”

Exurban Jon: “So this is what anarchy feels like . . . From now on, I shall be known as ;ExJon, Warlord of the Western Deserts.'”

Buck Sexton: “Did America lose 170,000,000 jobs in the last 10 minutes? Keep me informed, everyone.”

Brandon Morse: “The #sequester may now join the Mayan Calendar and the Y2K bug in the “[Stuff] Everyone Survived” Hall of Fame.”

By morning, it was even worse:

Rick Wilson: “A few hours of fitful sleep, the sound of sirens and screams of the victims of the Barackolypse rending the night air . . . I saw their fires in the dark, savagery swiftly tearing away the thin veneer of civilization only government diversity programs provided.”

John Podhoretz: “Just looked out the window. Five hedge fund guys fighting over a piece of raw meat.”

We thought we’d add our own observations…

Quick! Make a deal before we’re doomed!

Uh, oh. Too late…

But it’s worse than that…

Can there be a hero somewhere? Someone who can save us from ourselves?

One can always hope…

OK, maybe not that guy. Maybe this guy?

Yeah, we’re doomed.

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