It’s A Tax Election Day In East Baton Rouge Parish

Like they say down at OPP (where dey don’t know me, but my cousin T-Claude had to spend a night there after he slurped up too many han’grenades at Tropical Isle and got over-friendly with a police horse, but that’s another post altogether), “Ya’urd?”

Today’s the day you people in East Baton Rouge get to fund the school system…

Consolidated School District No. 1 Proposition No. 1

To renew a 10-year, 6.50-mill property tax, generating an estimated $21 million a year, for additional support for school operations.

Consolidated School District No. 1 Proposition No. 2

To renew a 10-year, 7.19-mill property tax, generating an estimated $23 million a year, for salaries and benefits for public school employees.

So, $44 million a year in property taxes to fund schools and burrocrats in a system that spends like 12 grand a year per student.

Problem is, like ol’ Walter Boasso would say when he put down his wawta hoose an’ his boxa Tide, “Da sissem is broak.”

Why do I say that?

My nephew T-Nick goes to LSU. He’s friendly with some of the folks who run saloons close by campus. And he says this resume got sent in by one aspirin’ supastar (that’s aspirin’, not aspirin – but you might need some aspirin after you read this hot mess below) who’s lookin’ to parlay a solid GPA at one of the local gummint schools into a gig pourin’ beer…

“T*****  C***
**** G***** P***** Rd
Baton Rouge, La 70814
(Phone) 225-***-**** (E-mail) ******@yahoo.com

Information History
THE REASON FOR ME CHOOSING TO WORK FOR LOFTENS STAFFING SERVICE IS THAT I CAN EXPERIENCE A MORE EFFECTANT WAY OF DOING BUSINESS, IN A MORE EFFECTIVE WAY. I’VE HAD ALOT OF HANDS ON EXPERIENCES AT OTHER JOB’S IN MY RECENT PAST: MC DONDLAD’S WHICH WAS MY FIRST AND ONLY JOB AT THAT TIME. I WORKED 8 HOURS A DAY AND EARNED A SALARY OF 300 EVERY TWO WEEKS, EVEN BEING I STILL WAS PRESISTANT WITH THIS ONE JOB. I ALSO WORKED AT WESTAFF (LOUSIANNA WORK FORCE COMISSION) WHERE I WAS A CRITICAL TYPIST, I DID OFFICE WORK BEHIND A DESK AND I ASSURE YOU I WAS ONE THAT HAD FULL DEDICATION IN MY WORK AND WITH EVERY JOB I AM A CONSISTANT WORKER BUT, UNFOURANTLY I WAS LAYED OFF AFTER WORKING 2 MONTHS AT THIS FACILTY. IF YOU CHOOSE TO HIRE ME I ASSURE YOU THAT I WOULD BE ONE OF YOUR BEST, HARD WORKING PEOPLE AND, WILLING TO LERAN ANYTHING NEEDED, TO GET THE JOB DONE FOR THIS POSITION I AM APPLYING FOR.

Work Experience
WESTAFF (LOUISANA WORK FORCE COMMISION)
LOCATED: NORTH 22ND STREET
DATES: OCTORBER 18- NOVEMBER 29TH OF 2010
MANAGED AS A CRITICAL TYPIST BEHIND A DESK
I’VE BEEN WORKING SINCE I WAS 16 YEARS OLD STARTED OFF AT A FAST FOOD RESTURANT.

Education
I WENT TO TARA HIGH SCHOOL IN EBR PARISH STARTING IN THE YEAR OF 2007 AND GRADUATED IN THE YEAR OF 2010 ON MAY 5

I FINSHED WITH A GPA OF A 3.0 AND HOPING THAT WITH THIS GPA ILL GO VERY FAR IN MY MAJOR I AM NOT CURRENTLY ASSIGNED INTO A COLLEGE BUT, MY PLANS OR NOT VAG .I’M INTERESTED IN GOING TO BATON ROUGE COMMUNITY COLLEGE AND WORKING MY WAY UP TO A 4 YEAR UNIVERSITY CALLED LSU AND FROM HERE I DESIRE TO MAJOR IN MEDICAL FIELD.

Thank You”

“My plans or not vag?” Don’t ask me. I got NO IDEA there.

That sound like $44 million worth to you?

Vote for all them taxes if you wanna; you do that and at least you can say it’s not your fault they’re teachin’ kids how to do up a resume’ where they make vagina plans. Or something.

Or you could vote no. Up to you.

Either way, don’t look for too many supastars from the Tara High School Critical Typist program.

Interested in more news from Louisiana? We've got you covered! See More Louisiana News
Previous Article
Next Article
Join the Conversation - Download the Speakeasy App.