Y’all Wanna Know What Happened When Obama Called Putin?

Basically, it was this…

This guy Putin is makin’ a mockery outta this 21st century leadership caste we got in America and elsewhere. You can’t get elected here or in the UK or somewhere “advanced” anymore if you’re a badass. You have to be “sophisticated” and nuanced; otherwise they make you out to be a nutjob or a caveman.

But here’s the thing – ever since Bush 41, who never did come off as a nutjob or a caveman and nevertheless ran some serious game on the rest of the world (go back and think about all the different people he put together to go whack Saddam outta Kuwait, and think about how he pounded Noriega in the pooper when Senor Pizzaface started becomin’ a liability, but let’s remember that Bush 41 was sittin’ on the military Reagan left him and that thing was a 2,000-foot high nuclear fusion-powered Giant Death Robot), the major Western countries have had a succession of wussies as presidents.

Yeah, yeah – Bush 43 got called a cowboy. And where Saddam was concerned he probably was a bit of a cowboy. The Iraq thing was, let’s say, a bit enthusiastic. But outside of Saddam and bracin’ a few Al-Qaeda guys in Gitmo? Kinda tame, actually. W was the guy who found warm-and-fuzzies in Putin’s soul, and his presidency ended with Putin sendin’ tanks to Georgia to whip up on our friends over there. And it’s not like the Chicoms didn’t have their way with us the whole time W was president.

Clinton and Obama? Pushovers. Obama drone-strikes jihadists and watches the snuff videos from the nose-cams, but put him in a room with Putin or the guy from China or the Iranians and he’s putty in their hands. And Clinton was too busy gettin’ Lewinskys to do much of anything in foreign policy.

And the Brits haven’t had a PM worth spit since Maggie Thatcher called it a day.

You put these New Age nice guys in the game with Putin or the Iranians or the Chicoms, and it’s a recipe for disaster. Because the Putins of the world couldn’t give a gerbil-turd about “multilateralism” or “the international community.”

Putin’s a honey badger. He takes what he wants. Honey badget don’t give a shit.

Dealin’ with a honey badger means you gotta be as mean as the honey badger, and you gotta be willin’ to play dirty.

Consider that when you watch this…

Kerry actually tries to tell Putin he’s weak for invadin’ the Crimea.

How funny do you think Putin finds that?

Kerry says he’s weak. Like he’s emotionally weak, or like he doesn’t have enough self-esteem or somethin’.

And Putin’s response to that is “Weak? Think so? How weak will I be if I invade all of the Ukraine? Am I weak then? Am I weak if I gobble up the Baltics and Moldova? How about the rest of Georgia? Cuz if I’m so weak and you can’t stop me from doin’ any of that…what’s that make you, Mr. Lurch Wannabe?”

I ain’t sayin’ we need a honey badger for a president. Let’s face it – when it comes to domestic stuff Obama’s about as honey badger as you ever wanna see, and he’s a scary mo-fo in that regard.

But we could definitely use a lil’ bit swagger and we could definitely use a dude who could put the fear of Jesus in Putin. That might be a lil’ much to ask where the Chicoms and Iranians are concerned, but I’ll take what I can get. Because it sucks to watch the news an’ see some jackasss who hates us out there playin’ honey badger.

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