I ain’t gotta say much to set this up. All I gotta do is show you a couple video clips and knowin’ how smart you people are you’ll unnerstand.

First, I have this…

That’s from The Life Aquatic, with Steve Zissou. Which is one of the best smart-ass movies ever made. And that’s a jaguar shark, which can only be seen in North Baton Rouge.

Anyway, I also have this…

This is actually real stuff, and you can see it in lots of places – but seeing it in the Gulf of Mexico in 2,000 feet of water off the Louisiana coast is kinda unusual. Sperm whales, which are about the size of a jaguar shark but don’t quite cut it when it comes to plumage and so on, are inferior to jaguar sharks in every way other than they’re real and don’t eat Bill Murray’s friends.

That, and Bill Murray is a lot less of a dork when he sees a jaguar shark than the people who operate ROV Hercules are when they run across a sperm whale.