I don’t got much to give y’all for Christmas. But I do got these…

Boudreaux and Thibodaux, dey work in a Louisiana sugarhouse plant down dere in New Iberia. What the sugarhouse does is, dey cook the sugar cane after the harvest an’ make some o’ day good cane syrup. The plant ain’t open 12 months out of the year like most industrial plants – after the cane is cooked and prepared the plants shut down for months at a time. A few people work full time on cleaning up the plant and maintenance. The rest of ’em either live off the land, trapping, shrimping, or fishing. Some find other part time jobs.

Boudreaux and Thibodaux tried living off the land, but the shrimp were not running and they get bored.

Boudreaux say, “Thib, I heard that they are hiring down at NASA in Houston. Lets see if we can get a full time job there.”

Thibodaux say, “Ok Boud, lets go.”

Boudreaux and Thibodaux go down to the personnel office at NASA and sit in line. After a while the personnel officer come out to the waiting room and ask Boudreaux to come in the office and sit down.

The personnel officer ax, “What is your name?”

Boudreaux say, “Boudreaux, me.”

The personnel officer ax, “What do you do for a living, Mr. Boudreaux?”

Boudreaux say, “I’m a pile-it, me.”

The personnel officer say, “A pilot? We got lots of pilots here at NASA. You are hired. Be here first thing in the morning.”

Boudreaux get excited and jumps out of that chair and runs out to his friend Thibodaux and say, “Get in there fast. They are giving away them jobs left and right.”

After a while the personnel officer come out to the waiting room and ask Thibodaux to come in the office and sit down

The personnel officer ax, “What is your name?”

Thibodaux say, “Thibodaux, me.”

The personnel officer ax, “What do you do for a living, Mr. Thibodaux?”

Thibodaux say, “I’m. a sugar cane cutter from South Louisiana.”

The personnel officer ax, “A sugar cane cutter from South Louisiana? We ain’t got no jobs at NASA for sugar cane cutters.”

Thibodaux say, “You hired Boudreaux.”

The personnel officer say, “Boudreaux is a pilot?”

Thibodaux say, “Well he can’t pile-it until after I cut it.”

Well Boudreaux and Thibodaux get lucky – NASA needs warm bodies, an’ dey at least qualify for dat. But they get fired the next day. Because every time the PA system says “Launch.” Boudreaux and Thibodaux take out their lunch box and start eating.

That was a long one. Here’s a short one.

Boudreaux calls the doctor and shouts, “Doc Thibodeaux! Doc Thibodeaux! my wife Mathilde, she be in labor and da contractions are only two minutes apart!”

Doc Thibodeaux asks, “Is this her first child?”

Boudreaux shouts, “No, you idiot, dis is her husband!”

This one picks up a bit later on in Boudreaux and Mathilde’s life together…

Boudreaux, Thibodeaux and Gautreaux was playing a big round of golf for $200. At the 18th green Boudreaux had hisself a ten foot putt to win dat round, and the $200.

As Boudreaux was lining up his putt, a funeral procession started to pass by. Boudreaux set down his putter, took his hat off, placed it over his chest, and waited for the funeral procession to pass him by. After it passed, Boudreaux picked up his putter and returned to lining up his putt.

Seeing this, Thibodeaux said, “Mais cher, dat was de most touching ting I never seen befo. I can’t believe you stopped playing, possibly losing all you concentration, to pay you respects.” “Well”, Boudreaux replies, “we were married for 25 years.”

Here’s a common concern, and not just in Cajun country…

Boudreaux had received a summons to appear for jury duty. The judge was doing his preliminary interview of the prospective jurors, and asked them, “Is there any reason any of you could not serve as a juror in this case?”

Boudreaux raised his hand and when the judge acknowledged him said, ” Mais, I can’t serve, Judge. I don’t wants to be away from my job dat long.”

The judge asked him, “Can’t they do without you at work?”

Boudreaux answered, “Yeh, Judge, dey can do widdout me, but I jus’ don’t wants dem to know it.”

An’ now, crime and punishment – or close to it. Detective Boudreaux on de case…

The Louisiana State Police had gotten wind that illegal cock fights were becoming big in the rural areas around Lafayette. They decided to send in Boudreaux, their best undercover detective. Boudreaux spent several weeks doing surveillance and came back to headquarters to report the results of his investigation. Boudreaux say, “Der is tree main group in dis cock fightin’ bisness.”

“Who are dey?” his Sergeant asked.

Boudreaux replies, “De Aggies, De Cajuns, an de Mafia.”

“How you know?” asked the sargeant.

“Well,” says Boudreaux, “I done seen da cock fight, Cher. I knowed da Aggies was involve when a duck was entered in de cock fight.”

“What about the others?” questioned the Sergeant.

“Well, I knowed da Cajuns was involve when sumbody bet on da duck. You know dem Cajuns, dey drink too much an say ‘Aw, what da hell?’ an dey’ll do anyting dats kinda crazy.”

“Mais, Boudreaux,” axed the Sergeant, “How you know da Mafia’s involve too?”

Boudreaux say, “Dat’s de easyiest part. De damn duck won !!”