BAYHAM: America Might Just Be The Kale Republic In 2024

In light of these extraordinary times where the opposition in this country have been brazenly harassed by the state and their allies in the courts, many conservatives have frequently used the term “banana republic” to describe our government.

Even if the term as originally coined doesn’t quite fit the sentiment, it’s true that our nation has definitely triple lindy’d through the looking glass as things continue to get curiouser and most curiouser.

Before we trudge through the halls of power, a stroll through the quad would be instructive of the prevailing insanity of the ivory towers turned minarets of modern Marxism.

After the fading of the anti-police, Black Lives Matter fad college students have discovered a new fashionable cause celebre to riot over: Gaza.

All of a sudden campus buildings have become CHAZ-like blockhouses and the perimeters surrounded with crude recreations of the barricades from Les Miserables.

To truly add a Marxist (Groucho not Karl) flavor to these squattings, the campus revolutionary leaders have issued sustenance demands that are straight out of South Park.

University administrators have proven themselves to be no firmer dealing with these easily compromised Patty Hearst wannabes than the Vichy cabal were with the Germans in the rail car. And amazingly this analogy is far more appropriate than it should have any right to be

Anti-Semitism is on the rise on college campuses and Jewish students who either take issue with the blue-eyed, blonde heads wrapped in keffiyehs or dare wear identifying symbols of their faith could be in store for the full Weimar treatment.

Unfortunately for their beneficiaries in spirit in Gaza, school is out of session now and the moneyed l’enfants terrible are now taking their insufferability on tour to European cities like Amsterdam, Barcelona, and Ibiza.

I mean those summer Airbnbs might not refund their deposits. The indigenous forces of Gaza liberation best hope their cause can endure the summer pause of collegiate interest until classes resume in the fall.

And then the plight of the oppressed will be competing with football season.

On to the judiciary where a former President of the United States who is running for that office again is locked in a parade of court battles across the fruited plain, from accusations of plotting a coup to funneling six figures worth of hush money to a porn star. The latter led to an absurd number of felony convictions and will almost certainly be successfully appealed before a more competent court and those who brought the charges and presided over the trial will have their shenanigans overturned.

That we now reside in a confederacy of judicial districts where bringing up the politically inconvenient and confrontational on…ahem trumped up charges…shows how far we’ve fallen as a sane country and the utter disgrace of those holding positions of high responsibility.

But having their handiwork dismissed isn’t sufficient to remedy this public blow to confidence in the system: the perps need to be officially rebuked by their peers and have their licenses to practice such unbecoming partisan tomfoolery revoked.

What they can do to the worst of us, they can do to the rest of us.

On to Atlanta where the most well-intentioned naive amongst us had a collective Wizard of Oz moment as the CNN moderators permitted the curtain to be pulled about the true condition of our president to be seen for the world.

To revisit the “Burning in Atlanta” is unnecessary.

As I said before, we all saw what we saw.

What’s disturbing is that the political class for whatever reason refuses to acknowledge this, which is far worse than denying the legitimacy of an election (a proud and longstanding practice of Democrats dating from every loss they’ve suffered since 1968- with the lone exception of Reagan’s 49 state dunking of Walter Mondale).


Either due to electoral viability concerns or the well-being of the na…who am I kidding it’s all the former, some Democrats that retain a degree of independent thought have rightfully called for President Joe Biden to pull the plug on his candidacy or have others do the honor for him.

To think Biden spent days in seclusion to pull off that performance really puts the exclamation point on things.

But it’s not that he lost a 90 minute debate with rhetorically undisciplined Donald Trump that ought to concern people but if he behaved similarly in the company of foreign leaders.

To think the same Democrats who routinely made ugly, speculative comments about Ronald Reagan while now gleefully “ridin’ with Biden” is particularly galling.

Jim Jones would’ve been in awe of such fervency in the face of plain reality.

Yet in our Brave New Society where legal scholars from Ivy League institutions cannot succinctly define what a woman is, we are trained to accept without questioning and that anything we see or hear is merely anecdotal baseless “evidence” artificially created by selective camera angles.

To quote one post-debate thumb-sucking Twitter lefty, it’s about voting for an administration and preserving the rights to abortions men will never have than the actual candidate.

In other words, vote for the mafia not the mobster in slippers.

We’re not a banana republic. We have too much money and quality drinking water (aside from Jackson, Mississippi) to be classified as such.

But as we continue to allow fads to govern our seasonal destructive  rage, fashion and social media vanity to persuade us to vote against our own national and personal interests, and possess a stubborn refusal to acknowledge a leaky border and weaky president because we fear being judged as “one of them”- sub out “them” with a damning and economically consequential pejorative), we’ve become a bitter distasteful yet still trendy Kale Republic.

At this point, I shudder about what I’ll be writing in this column on the eve of America ‘s 249th birthday next year.



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