Since Saturday LSU gets to go over there and play those people with all those kinda-sorta obscene hand gestures their cheerleaders use, down here in Barataria we thought we’d dust off a few of the classics.

Because everybody needs a good Aggie joke here and there.

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Did you hear that they banned “the wave” at the Aggie Stadium?

Two poor Aggies drowned at a game last year.

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How do you know the person who invented the toothbrush must have been an Aggie?

Because anyone else would have named it TEETHbrush.

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Why did the Aggie stare at a frozen orange juice can for over an hour?

Because it said ‘concentrate’.

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Did y’all hear about the Aggie who stayed up all night studyin’ for his urine test the next day?

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Why do Aggies hate M&Ms?

They’re too hard to peel.

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There was an Aggie that was down on his luck. In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree and told him, “I’ve kidnapped you.”

The Aggie wrote a note saying “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the city playground. Signed, An Aggie.”

The Aggie then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the Aggie checked, and sure enough a paper bag was sitting beneath that pecan tree. The Aggie opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note. The note said, “How could one Aggie do this to another Aggie?”

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Did you know that there are three types of Aggies?

Those who can count and those who can’t.

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Did you hear about the Aggie at the stop sign? Well, he’s still there.

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What happened to the Aggie hockey team?

They drowned in spring training.

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An Aggie went riding, and everything was going fine until the horse suddenly started bouncing out of control. He tried to hang on, but with a foot caught in the stirrup, he fell off head-first. With his head bouncing up and down, the horse didn’t even slow down. And just as the Aggie was giving up hope and losing consciousness, a Kmart employee came out and pulled the plug on the horse.

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A 2-seater plane crashed into a cemetery near College Station. The Aggie fire department uncovered 700 bodies.

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Two Aggies were flying across the Atlantic and decided they didn’t have enough fuel to make it. So the pilot decided to lighten the load.

By jettisoning some fuel.

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How many Aggies does it take to eat an armadillo?

Three. One to do the eating, and two to watch for cars.

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Two Aggies were pulling a large deer through the woods. They came across a longhorn and he said, “Really nice buck you got there, but I think if you pulled him by his horns it would be a lot better than dragging him by his hind legs.”

The Aggies tried it and after a while one said “This sure is better. It’s a lot smoother over the ground.” The other said, “Yeah, but we sure a getting farther away from the truck.”

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What’s the difference between the Aggies and Rice Krispies? Rice Krispies know what to do in a bowl.

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Did you hear that the A&M library had to close down this year?

Somebody stole the book. And that ain’t the worst of it. When it was returned it was all colored in.

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At the end of the night, the Aggie turns to his girlfriend and asks, “Why is it every time I go out with you, I end up spending hundreds of dollars?”

And she says, “Because I’m a prostitute.”

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A couple of Aggies were attending a friend’s funeral. While viewing the body one Aggies says to the other, “Gee, he looks pretty good!”

The second Aggie replies, “He should, he just got out of the hospital yesterday.”