Why The X-Games Are Not Awesome

Because there are goofball Australians named Jacko jumping off snowmobiles in midair, and once those machines hit the ground it’s like a Home Depot parkin’ lot in the middle of an ICE raid.

You can see it on the video, but a kid busted his knee in the crowd when his dad pulled him away from that snowmobile. He banged it against that truck that was parked right by where the snowmobile eventually stopped, and his dad was covering him up at the end. They say the kid’s OK.

But the goofball Australian named Jacko is fine, except that he probably needs a new line of work. Jumpin’ off a snowmobile in midair when you’re supposed to stay on it? Might be a good idea for him to take up cricket, or maybe even a real job.

And if you ever get an urge to buy tickets to go see the Winter X Games live, just lay down and let it pass. It’s no more watchable in real life than it is on TV. Just more dangerous. How do you explain to St. Peter at the Pearly Gates that you bought it by gettin’ run over by a snowmobile some goofball Australian named Jacko turned loose?



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