…since it seemed like you people liked the last batch of ’em.
The first one o’ these some of y’all already heard – if you went to the Hayride Spring Dinner, that is. Bodi White, who I hear tell is gonna run for mayor of Baton Rouge, told this one at the beginning of his speech an’ then related it to the Legislature. I’ll tell y’all how he did that after.
Goes like this…
Boudreaux, Thibodeaux and their Aggie friend Jim Bob went on a fishin’ trip in the Bahamas and got caught up in a storm, and the upshot was they got marooned on one o’ them lil’ deserted islands in that chain for several years. But walkin’ on the beach one day they came upon a bottle, an’ when they dusted the sand off it a genie popped out.
“You are my masters,” said the genie, “and I therefore grant you three wishes. But since there are three of you I will grant one wish apiece.”
Boudreaux went first. “Well, if dat’s de case,” he said, “then what I wish is dat I was back at my fishin’ camp what’s down in de Atchafalaya Basin. Man, me, I miss dat place.”
And the genie nodded, and POOF! Boudreaux was gone.
Then came Thibodeaux. “Mais, talk about missin’ t’ings, I miss my sweetheart Clotile like nothin’ you can imagine. I wish I was back wit’ her right now.”
The genie, with a nod and a POOF!, dispatched Thibodeaux to his true love.
Finally, it was Jim Bob’s turn. He looked around wistfully, then said “Well, with Boudreaux and Thibodeaux gone I’ll sure be lonely around here. I wish I had ’em to keep me company.”
The way Bodi told it, we had a lotta Aggie voters in the governor’s election in the fall, and they gave us a Democrat governor who’s got us right back on that crappy high-tax desert island. Which is a good point.
Anyway, here’s another one.
Thibodeaux was driving his car past Boudreaux’s house down by da bayou and saw a sign out front that read: “Boat For Sale.”
So Thibodeaux marches up to Boudreaux front porch and raps hard on the door. When Boudreaux opens it: Thibodeaux says, “Boudreaux! How long we ban frands?”
Boudreaux says, “Well………All our lives, Thibodeaux.”
Thibodeaux says, “Why don’t you told me you gotta boat?”
Boudreaux says, “I ant gotta boat!”
Thibodeaux says, “Da’ sign say ‘BOAT FOR SALE’.”
Boudreaux says, “OH-NO Thibodeaux! See dat old ’72 Ford pickem’up truck over dare?”
“Yas, I see dat old pickem’up truck.”
Boudreaux says, “See dat ’76 Cheverlet see-dan?”
“Yas, I see dat see-dan.”
Boudreaux says, “Well, dey boat for sale.”
I got one more.
It’s November and America has just elected the first woman as President of the United States – her name is Susan Boudreaux an’ she graduated from LSU.
What, you thought I was talkin’ ’bout somebody else?
Anyway, a few days after the election the president-elect calls her father and says, “So, Dad, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?”
“Mais, cher, I don’t t’ink so. It’s a 30 hour drive, your mother isn’t as young as she used to be, and my arthritis is acting up again.”
“Don’t worry about it, Dad, I’ll send Air Force One to pick you up and take you home. And a limousine will pick you up at your door.”
“I don’t know, cher. Everybody will be so fancy. What would your mother wear?”
“Oh, Dad,” replies Susan, “I’ll make sure she has a wonderful gown custom-made by the best designer in New York.”
“Honey,” Dad complains, “you know I can’t eat those rich foods you and your friends like to eat.”
The President-to-be responds, “Don’t worry Dad. The entire affair is going to be handled by the best caterer in New York, and I’ll ensure your meals are salt free. Dad, I really want you to come.”
So Dad reluctantly agrees and on January 20, 2017, Susan Boudreaux is being sworn in as President of the United States. In the front row sits the new president’s Dad and Mom.
Dad noticing the senator sitting next to him, leans over and whispers, “You see that woman over dere with her hand on the Bible, becoming President of the United States?”
The Senator whispers back, “Yes I do.”
Her Dad says proudly, “Her brother played football at LSU.”